Speak
by rikalynch
Summary: Nick Duval is intrigued by a boy, Jeff Sterling, despite his quiet and shy nature. It doesn't take long before Nick finds out Jeff has Selective Mutism. Will Nick ever be able to break him from his shell? WIP
1. Chapter 1

**Going to try and complete a multichapter... Let's see where this goes. **

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Nick Duval was your average, American teenage boy. He grew up in Westerville, Ohio, with a younger sister by the name of Shiloh, two loving parents, and a dog. His parents were not poor; in fact they had more money than the average family. Nick was to become a lawyer when he came of age, as per his parents' wishes. Nick, however, wanted to be a therapist, but his parents chose to ignore him when he brought that up. They believed that Nick would follow in both their footsteps, as would his fifteen-year-old sister.

At the age of sixteen, Nick entered his freshman year of high school. His parents had enrolled him in Dalton Academy, a private boarding school only for boys. Initially, Mr. Duval had feared that being in an environment solely consisting of males would influence Nick to, in his words, "become one of those homosexuals," but Mrs. Duval had talked him out of it. After all, some of the world's best lawyers' alma mater was Dalton.

Nick himself had quite a few fears about Dalton. He'd always known, deep down, that he was gay, but he'd never admit it to his father. He knew his father only had few years left, due to his cardiovascular disease, something the family never discussed. They, instead, pretended it didn't exist at all. That's just how things worked in Nick's family; if they didn't like something, they swept it under the rug and pretended it didn't exist. Most people envy the way they deal with things, as Nick's had numerous friends be kicked out of their homes due to fights, and grudges being held. Nick, however, envies _them. _He hates how he can never bring up past events with his parents.

On Nick's first day at Dalton, he's informed of the Warblers, the school's singing group, by a classmate by the name of Wes. Nick knew he had a good singing voice, but he was scared that his parents wouldn't accept of his being in a glee club. But then he remembered he was at a boarding school, and he no longer required their permission to stay after school.

After a few weeks of getting adjusted to the school; and readying his audition for the Warbler council, it was finally his turn. He stepped in front of the council and cleared his throat, getting ready to sing, when the doors opened.

"Wes, Thad, David," the brunet said. Nick had no idea who the boy was, but he looked worried and scared, so he stepped back, hiding his face behind his bangs. The council dismissed everybody and all of the aspiring and current Warblers filed out of the room. Nick was worried, and curious, so he followed behind the boys. He stood back, however, when he saw a blonde sitting on the floor in a dorm that wasn't his. Thad, Wes and David circled around the boy, who was curled in on himself, crying, sobbing, and shaking. He wasn't speaking, no matter how much David and Wes prompted him to. The boy he recognized from lunch as Blaine was standing back, his hand over his mouth, and the one who had initially gathered the council was searching frantically for something.

Nick stepped forward until he was kneeling in front of the blond, like he knew exactly what he was doing. He reached in his pocket and very carefully unfolded the brown paper bag that was in it. He himself had anxiety attacks at random, so he preferred to keep it on his person just in case. He smoothed down the blond's hair and tilted his chin up. The boy's head went up, but his gaze never adverted from the floor. Nick gently placed the open bag to the boy's lips, and the boy sobbed.

Nick tilted his head, wondering if he'd done wrong, but the blond wrapped his hands around the top of the bag and started to breathe into it. Nick kept smoothing his hair down, and rubbed his back sympathetically, not saying a word or looking at the other Warblers. Eventually, the blond calmed down, and handed the bag back to Nick with shaky hands. The corners of the boy's lips played at a smile, but that was it.

"Are you alright?" Nick asked. He knew it was sort of a stupid question to ask, but he just wanted to make sure that the boy wasn't panicking any more. Wes, David and Thad had filed out of the room, because it was crowded with seven people in it.

The blond, however, did not reply. He just sat there, staring at the ground. Nick stood, and got a panicked look from the blond, who then quickly looked back downwards. Nick cocked his head again, completely perplexed at the boy's behavior. He held his hand out to help him up, and put his hand on the small of the taller boy's back once he was standing. He led him to the bed and sat him down.

"Keep this, okay?" Nick asked, and folded the paper bag back up. He slipped it into the blonde's pocket with a small, sad smile. "You might need it." Trent and Blaine were staring at Nick like he'd grown tentacles—how had the boy known exactly what to do to rid the blond of his panic? "What's your name?" Nick asked when the boy didn't respond.

Nick didn't receive an answer to that question, either. The blonde pulled his wallet from his pocket, slowly, tentatively. He waited until Trent and Blaine weren't looking before pulling his student ID from it. He handed it to Nick, who studied it momentarily. "Jeff… It's a nice name." Nick handed it back to the blond, wondering why he wasn't speaking. Perhaps he was just shy. He was about to say something else when an announcement came over the loudspeakers.

"_Would Nicholas Duval please report to the guidance office? Nicholas Duval, to the guidance office." _

"That's me," Nick sighed, "Do you want me to come back after?" Nick asked, not sure exactly why he'd said it. After all, Jeff hadn't said a word to him… Why did he care so much? Jeff slowly looked up at Nick, but proper eye contact was never fully made. He gave a curt nod, which Nick barely saw. Nick smoothed Jeff's hair down one more time before standing, and walking out the door.

There were no witnesses, but Jeff's lips slowly curved into a smile.

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**So, there's chapter numero uno. I'll probably elaborate on Nick's family in the next chapter, then we get to learn about Jeff. Reviews are awesome!**

**_xoxo_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for waiting so patiently! As promised, chapter numero dos!**

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The awkward few weeks that'd passed after had been like hell for Jeff. Nick never came back to his dorm as promised. Did Nick hate him? It was most likely, given Jeff's luck.

Every time he saw Nick in the hallways, Nick'd wave, but he could never muster up the courage to wave back. So, he'd smile, and hope Nick caught it. They had one class together, Math, and Jeff sat right next to Nick, but Nick never tried to talk to him. He, of course, never tried either.

He'd originally thought Nick was pretending to be courteous, just for his sake, and ignoring him the rest of the time. But it turns out; he just had a lot on his mind. Jeff's roommate had gotten fed up with Jeff (just another person Jeff could count on leaving) and requested a change. Since they were done at random, Nick was chosen to room with Jeff. Jeff had smiled at the thought, and then remembered that Nick, just like everyone else, only pretended to like him.

As soon as Nick had brought all of his bags into the dorm, he smiled at Jeff. "Hey, you," Nick said, putting his hand on Jeff's arm. "Sorry I haven't been talking to you, I figured you wouldn't want me to because… Well, yeah. You don't really say much."

Jeff cracked a small smile and sat down on his bed. Nick did the same, playing with Jeff's hair. "I've had a lot on my mind, too," he murmured, sighing. Jeff frowned and looked at Nick, but shied away when they made eye contact. "My dad's really sick," Nick continued. "And he probably won't make it through the month." Jeff frowned, and Nick shrugged. "It's not a big loss."

Jeff glared up at Nick. How could the boy think like that? It was his _father_, for God's sake! Jeff stood up, repulsed, and locked himself in the bathroom. Nick buried his face in his hands, sighing. He fucked up. Again.

Jeff stayed in the bathroom for almost an hour, and Nick had to knock on the door to get Jeff out. "Hey," he said when Jeff walked past him. "What did I say?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Jeff didn't turn around; he just shrugged and then dropped himself onto his bed. Nick didn't push any further.

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The morning that followed was far different than each morning for Nick. He'd woken up at 6AM to a phone call, which he took in the bathroom, as to not wake Jeff up. The door's clicking shut made the blond jolt awake anyway, and look around, confused.

He glanced at his alarm clock and frowned, it was only just shy of six in the morning. Why was Nick awake? Was he sick? Suddenly, Jeff started to worry. He managed to calm himself down by assuring himself that Nick was just an early riser, but something still felt off.

Jeff's suspicions were confirmed when Nick came out of the bathroom, clutching his phone to his chest, crying silently into the back of his hand. Let it be known that Nick Duval did not cry often. The last time he cried was when he was ten and his grandmother died. He hadn't cried when his father's heart disease was diagnosed, nor when he himself was diagnosed with epilepsy. It was a bad habit that he developed from his parents, and would definitely take a while to break out of.

Jeff stood and walked over to Nick. He put a hand on Nick's shoulder, and Nick looked up into Jeff's eyes, tears spilling over quickly. Jeff wrapped his arms around Nick, and Nick let out a sob into the blonde's shoulder. Nick didn't know when they moved to his bed, but he figured it was soon after he started to shake. Jeff was holding him close, with the blanket over both of them, as he sobbed and shook.

Jeff was so confused, he didn't know why Nick was crying, and he wanted to know. He wanted to make sure nobody had hurt Nick. He certainly didn't know what he'd do if somebody _had,_ but he just needed to know. He pulled away from their embrace and cupped Nick's face in his hands. Nick sniffled softly, and Jeff cocked his head, frowning.

Nick hesitated a moment before speaking. "M-My d-dad." He whispered. He tried to speak again, but he was stuttering and sobbing so much that it was incorrigible. "H-He—He's de-d-dead."

Jeff's frowned deepened, and he tightened his grip around Nick, tears of his own springing to his eyes. They lay in the same position, Nick crying into Jeff's shoulder and Jeff crying into the pillow, for two hours, before Nick had to pull away. "Th-Thank you," Nick finally managed, and kissed Jeff's cheek. "I have to g-go home t-to discuss plans wi-with my family," he hiccupped. "I'll se-see you later on tonight?"

Jeff, however, hadn't registered anything Nick had said. His hand was still hovering over his cheek where Nick had kissed him, a goofy grin on his face. Jeff frowned and looked at Nick, shaking his head apologetically.

Nick figured Jeff hadn't understood what he said because he was stuttering, so he repeated himself. "I have to go see my family." Jeff's face fell a little, but it was to be expected. He just _really _didn't want Nick to leave. Jeff gave a sad nod, and Nick tilted his head. "Would you like to come?"

Jeff didn't know how Nick could read him so well.

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Nick's family was possibly the strangest family Jeff had ever seen. Nick had walked in the door with Jeff, and Jeff immediately found himself being engulfed in a group hug that he did not feel welcome in. He shied away immediately, and managed to wiggle himself out. He didn't like being touched. Nick had introduced him to his family. Shiloh, the fifteen-year-old girl who was a striking image of her mother. Nancy, Nick's mother. Walter, his uncle from Columbus. River, his shy ten-year-old cousin. Amy, River's identical twin. Mary, the twins' mother and Walter's wife. A fifteen-year-old girl named Spencer, who seemed to be best friends with Shiloh. Cassidy, Nick's seventeen-year-old cousin. She caught Jeff's eye the most, mainly because she was hiding behind her mother (Claire) the same way Jeff was hiding behind Nick.

Through the course of the day, Jeff noticed that Cassidy was staring at him. He, as usual, didn't say a word, and neither did Cassidy. At dinner, Nick sat between Jeff and Cassidy, and the three teens sat in relative silence due to neither Cass nor Jeff speaking. Jeff barely ate a thing, because doing so would involve asking someone to pass the food to him, something he couldn't do. The amount of people surrounding him was overwhelming, and the only thing keeping him from having an anxiety attack was Nick's hand on his thigh, keeping him grounded. When dinner was finished, Jeff was still hungry, and gratefully accepted the slice of pie that was handed to him. He polished off two, and ice cream, and Nick was chuckling next to him when he finally leaned back in his chair.

Jeff gave him a questioning look, and Nick rolled his eyes fondly. "You eat a lot." Jeff smiled, and then realized that most of Nick's family was looking at them. He blushed and looked down at his hands.

"Nick, may I speak to you for a moment?" His mother, always proper, asked as she stood from her seat at the head of the table. Nick sighed and walked with her to the pantry.

"Yes, mother?" He retorted, sarcastically, once the door was closed.

"I haven't heard a peep from your friend all day. Doesn't he know it's rude not to speak?" She asked. "Cassidy, we understand, because she's—"

"Well, so is Jeff," Nick rolled his eyes. "And he's my best friend. So he's staying." He walked back to the table and sat between his cousin and friend, nudging Jeff's shoulder lightly.

His mother came back, her cheeks reddened. She'd always hated making a fool of herself. Nick knew what was coming next—sleeping arrangements. He somehow always ended up sleeping in a bed with his sister, waking up with an awkward boner that neither of them ever brought up again.

In the end, Nick was quite pleased with the sleeping arrangements. His mother was going to sleep in the guest room, with Shiloh. Cassidy in Shiloh's bedroom, the twins on the pullout bed in the living room. Walter and Mary on Nancy's bed, and Claire on the living room couch. Nick was genuinely surprised that he got to keep his own bed.

"As for your friend," Nancy gestured to Jeff. "I assume he's going back to Dalton?"

Nick looked to Jeff, who was blushing and staring at his hands. "I'll share my bed," he shrugged, ignoring the disgusted look he got from his mother. To Nick, any reason to cuddle with Jeff was a good enough reason for him.

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Jeff woke three times during the night. He wasn't used to having someone touching him in his sleep, but luckily knowing that it was Nick managed to keep him from panicking. He cuddled back into Nick's side and frowned. He had no idea why he was so attached to Nick. Every single person he'd ever met, he'd pushed away. Including his own parents. He hated people; he hated being around them, he hated communicating with them. So _why _did he love being around Nick so much? Everything about Nick made him feel safe, happy… Loved. The safety he couldn't even feel from his mom was there with Nick. He'd had one other friend that made him feel safe, but even he didn't match up to Nick.

Jeff was seven; the other boy was nine. They'd met at the hospital, when Jeff's mother feared there was something wrong with Jeff to cause his mutism. Benjamin had been the boy's name, and he'd had PTSD, and mutism as a result. They communicated through sign language, something Jeff never did, not even with his mother. Jeff and Benjamin were friends for years, up until Jeff was fourteen, when everything changed.

That was when Jeff realized that he wasn't straight. His mother had always tried to encourage him to talk to girls. _Talk_ to _girls. _Jeff didn't _talk._ His mother often frustrated him, because she, at the time, was still under the belief that Jeff's mutism was a phase that he'd soon snap out of. Jeff knew that the doctors would never be able to convince her that it could be for life.

Jeff had his first kiss when he was fourteen, and it was with Benjamin. After that, he and Benjamin didn't see each other for weeks. When Jeff finally mustered up the courage to go to his house, he'd been informed that Ben had committed suicide. That was when Jeff's whole world came crashing down. The boy he'd thought he loved killed himself. Was it a coincidence that it was merely days after they shared a kiss, the most intimate Jeff had ever been with anybody?

So that's why Jeff pulled away from Nick, and made himself a small nest of blankets and pillows on the floor next to Nick's bed. He felt a wet nose prodding his hands, and was soon cuddling their family dog, crying softly into her fur as he tried to will himself back to sleep for the final time in the night. He only hoped Nick would never kiss him. That would assure that everything would always be okay between them.

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**Eee! Chapter three will be up soon, I promise! Reviews keep me going. Seriously, they're the best. I love you all! xoxo**

**EDIT: LINE BREAKS, I HATE YOU. WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOW UP. akgdjal;dkgj**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'd like to apologize for a few things right now. First, for being so SLOW with this update. Secondly, for how short this is. Third, for the feels in this chapter. Also there's a little bit of smutt-y in this chapter. Nothing M rated or anything. **

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In the morning, Nick was made aware of just how cold and lonely the bed was when it was empty. He felt around for Jeff for a moment, but he couldn't find him. "Jeff?" He called out groggily. He felt a tap on his thigh, and he turned around to see Jeff sitting on the floor next to Krystal, Nick's dog. Jeff had a hand absently tangled into her fur, and he was blushing. "Hey," Nick sat up, and tried fixing his hair.

Jeff gave a polite, small smile to Nick, one he would have missed had he not been staring right at Jeff's mouth. Nick groaned and fell back into the mess of pillows and blankets, and asked aloud, "how come you stopped cuddling?"

Jeff shrugged and patted Krystal's stomach. He stood up off of the floor, and stretched. He'd already been awake for an hour, and he'd cleaned the pile of blankets and pillows he'd used to sleep off of the floor, showered, and gotten dressed. He hadn't had any clothes of his own, so he'd taken it to himself to borrow some from Nick, praying that he wouldn't be angry. He sat down on the edge of Nick's bed, and Nick nudged him with his foot. "Cuddle?" Nick asked, pouting and giving puppy eyes. Jeff shook his head fondly and smiled. He crawled up the bed and laid about a foot away from Nick, and felt himself being pulled towards the brunet.

When they were lying pressed flush to each other, that's when Jeff realized why he was so attached to Nick; why he felt so safe with him.

He was in love.

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Jeff and Nick laid there for two hours before Nick got up to shower. Jeff sat alone, absently leafing through a magazine he'd found on Nick's bedside table. When Nick came back out, he blushed profusely and apologized. Jeff looked down at the book and realized that he'd been looking at a porn magazine. He threw it away from him like it was on fire, watching as it landed on the end of the bed. He stood up and wiped his hands off on his jeans, and smiled softly at Nick.

"I'm sorry," Nick whispered. "I'll have to put them away better next time." He took Jeff's hand gently and lead him downstairs to the empty kitchen. He checked around the house, but there wasn't a soul in sight. "I guess everybody went out for breakfast without us. We'll just make our own," he smiled. He took eggs from the fridge, as well as bacon, and looked to Jeff. "You eat meat?"

Jeff gave a small nod, and Nick quickly got to making the food. Ten minutes and a burnt finger later, Nick found himself with two plates of scrambled eggs and bacon. He set Jeff's plate in front of him and sat down next to him, smiling. "Dig in," he muttered, and did exactly as he'd told Jeff.

They ate in silence, and Nick leaned back in his chair when he was finished. He glanced over to Jeff, who was also finished, and observing his hands very intently. "Hey, Jeff?" Nick asked, and Jeff looked up at him. Nick leaned forward. "You have a little bit of ketchup..." He leaned in closer and pecked the corner of his mouth, and then pulled away, licking his lips. "There."

Jeff blushed and raised his hand to his mouth. Four of his fingers hovered over his lips as his eyes scaled over Nick's face. Had that really just happened? Even worse... Had he really _enjoyed _it that much?

He bit his lip and leaned forward, tugging on Nick's hand. Nick raised his eyebrow, confused about Jeff's behavior. When their lips met for a second time, it made sense. Nick, surprised that Jeff would initiate a kiss, wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist. Jeff closed his eyes and tangled his hand into Nick's hair.

It felt so wrong for him to be touching someone so intimately, he'd never gotten that far with a kiss. But at the same time, it felt so _right, _and he didn't think he was going to stop any time soon. He took Nick's hand in his and deepened the kiss by parting his lips, which Nick returned eagerly by sliding his tongue along Jeff's bottom lip.

Jeff gasped in surprise, but didn't pull away. Instead, he stood off of his chair and pulled Nick down into a standing position, pressing their bodies flush against each other. He was so uncomfortable with it, but he couldn't control himself. It was like he'd been taken over.

Jeff wrapped his legs around Nick's waist, and Nick held him up by his thighs. "Wanna go upstairs?" Nick mumbled, and Jeff, without thinking about it first, nodded. Nick carried him up the stairs and locked them in his bedroom. He got into the bed with Jeff, and kissed him again, this time sucking on Jeff's lower lip. Jeff couldn't help but give a small moan, he really liked the feeling. Nick adjusted himself so he was lying on top of Jeff, between his legs, their bodies pressed as close as they could be. He deepened the kiss again, and slid his tongue into Jeff's mouth, scoping out the parameter of his teeth with the tip.

Jeff, after a couple of minutes of the making out, arched his hips up into Nick's and moaned again. Nick closed his eyes and bit Jeff's bottom lip gently, he could very obviously feel Jeff's hard-on through his jeans, and he knew Jeff could feel his. He moved away from the kiss so he could press his lips to Jeff's neck.

Jeff was panicking, internally, but it felt so good and he just couldn't stop. He tugged softly on Nick's hair and rocked his hips up into Nick's, trying to ask him to touch. Nick ran his hands down Jeff's sides and looked up at him. "Can I?" He murmured, hovering his fingers over Jeff's crotch. Jeff nodded and watched as he unbuttoned his jeans.

Just like that, something in Jeff snapped, and he pushed Nick off of him, almost violently. Tears filled his eyes and he buttoned his jeans back up. How could Nick do that to him? He knew... He didn't know. He sobbed into the back of his hand and pushed Nick away when he tried to hold him. He put his jacket on and fixed his shirt. He couldn't believe Nick would use him like that. Nick protested, but Jeff walked out of his room, and ran out of the house.

"Jeff, fuck, wait!" He cried. He ran after the boy, and took his hand, even though it caused Jeff to sob harder. "Jeff, at least let me drive you home, it's freezing outside."

Jeff looked at Nick with a frown, but the frost was biting his cheeks and ears and he knew Nick was right. He got into the passenger seat of Nick's car once it was unlocked, and curled into himself, staring out the window. He ignored any and all attempts Nick made to talk to him, and practically jumped out of the car once they were at Dalton. He didn't wave goodbye to Nick, he just walked inside without a backwards glance.

"God fucking damn it."

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**...Welp.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hokay! Sorry it's been like two-thousand years. I've been super busy, but I decided to put up a half-chapter for you! :) Trigger warnings ahead (suicide/self-harm). Read at your own risk, guys. **

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The next two weeks that followed were subsequently awkward, not only for Nick, but for Jeff as well. Since they sat together in Math, Jeff had to scoot his chair as far away from Nick as he could, so they wouldn't accidentally touch. Ever since they kissed, Jeff had been even more jumpy than usual. He would cry and panic each time somebody came into contact with him, terrified they'd hurt him.

He knew that Nick hadn't tried to hurt him; not on purpose, but he still felt like it was hurting him more than it should. He could tell his ignoring Nick was hurting the boy, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Every day, Nick would sit down next to him, smile, and greet him cheerily, and Jeff would ignore him. He wasn't trying to be rude, really, but he didn't want Nick to try and strike up a conversation—if you could even call it that—with him.

On the second Thursday after their awkward kissing encounter, Nick didn't attend Math class. Jeff found it weird, because Nick _always _went to class. He felt relieved when the bell rang, because the day was finally over. He was hoping Nick was in their dorm, just so he could see that everything was okay with Nick. He opened the door tentatively and saw that Nick's stuff was there, and the bathroom door was closed, and the water was running. Why had Nick skipped class to take a _shower?_ He sighed and set his stuff down on his bed, and got to working on his homework. As he turned the pages in his textbook, however, something caught his eye. He turned his head and looked at the carpet in front of the bathroom door, and saw water.

It didn't take him long to add two and two together. The bathtub was overflowing, and Nick must've been in it. He knocked on the door, and got no response. He counted to three, and then slammed himself into the door to bust it open. That was when he realized how much he wasn't ready to see what he saw next.

Nick was lying in the overflowing tub, his left wrist slit and bleeding. Jeff gasped and ran forward, sliding on the water. He turned the tub off and shook Nick by his shoulders, but Nick was definitely unconscious. Upon further inspection, Jeff realized that Nick had taken a large dose of pills along with cutting himself. He started to cry and unplugged the bathtub. He started to look around for a phone to call 911 with, until he remembered that he wouldn't be able to speak if he _wanted _to. He ran out of the room and grabbed the nearest passerby by their wrist, pulling them into his room. He looked up at the student and recognized Wes from the Warblers. He pointed to the bathroom, and saw the senior spring into action.

Within minutes, there were paramedics loading Nick onto a stretcher, and policemen trying to talk to Jeff. Jeff just kept shaking his head. He was curled in a ball in the farthest corner of their dorm, and every time someone approached him, he'd duck his face between his knees. They tried speaking to him in English, Spanish, French, and even German. But, he wouldn't respond.

After three cops, two medics and a student attempted to speak to him, they finally gave up and left Jeff alone. Jeff fell asleep in the same position, in the corner with his head in his knees.

All night, the only thing that could be heard within the dorm were Jeff's soft cries, and an eventual, soft whisper from Jeff's lips: "Nicky."

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**Well... That's that. I hope you enjoyed! Review if you have the time, it really keeps me going. Hopefully the next part of the chapter will be up soon!**

**—xoxo Charlie**


	5. Chapter 5

**Warnings for the chapter up ahead: **

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Jeff barely slept during the night. He was too scared, uncomfortable, and upset. At some point in time, he'd moved into Nick's bed, but he didn't sleep after that. At six, he got bored trying to fall asleep, so he got up, got dressed, and made his way down to the cafeteria. He got himself a coffee and, using Nick's car, drove himself to the hospital. The doctors didn't let him into Nick's room until 8, when visiting hours started, so he sat in the waiting room for an hour and a half and stared at Nick's car keys.

In that hour and a half, he'd memorized everything about them. The way the unlock button was faded from Nick using it a lot, but the panic, lock and trunk button weren't. He had a keychain with his name on it, made from string. It was pink and blue, so he guessed that Nick's little sister made it for him. They were on a Dalton lanyard, and they had other keys that Jeff couldn't identify. He'd just taken to counting the number of knots on Nick's name-keychain when there was an announcement over the P.A. system: "the hospital is now open for visiting hours."

Jeff made it to Nick's room in a matter of seconds, and he sat down next to Nick's sleeping form. He hesitated for a moment before taking Nick's hand, sighing in relief when he felt how warm it was. Nick was okay. He kissed the top of Nick's hand, a gesture that surprised even himself. Jeff was half expecting Nick to stir, wake up and say his name, but nothing happened. Nick just kept sleeping, his chest rising and falling steadily.

Jeff sighed and rested his head on Nick's leg, playing with the brunet's fingers. He stayed like that for almost three hours, only getting up once to use the restroom. After a while, Jeff got sick of the kinking in his neck, so he stood up to stretch. He stopped, however, when he heard a whimper escape Nick's lips. He looked down at the boy in front of him, and Nick stirred in turn.

"J'ff?" He asked, groggy. He didn't open his eyes, and he barely moved his body. Jeff reached down and took Nick's hand, and Nick smiled. "Hi," he whispered. He absently patted the empty space next to him, and licked his lips. "Lay d'wn?"

Even though there was barely any room, Jeff readily agreed. He laid on his side next to Nick and wrapped an arm around his chest, sighing quietly. "I'm so sorry," Nick murmured. Jeff put two fingers over Nick's lips, as to shut him up, and Nick nodded. They laid together, just holding each other, for a few hours. Jeff glanced up at the clock, and chuckled to himself when he realized that he'd spent the entire school day with Nick.

"What's so funny?" Nick asked, knowing it was a rhetorical question. Couldn't hurt to try, right? Jeff pointed at the clock in response, and Nick hummed. "We missed Math," he said, and put his hand over his forehead dramatically. "What ever will we do?"

This got a giggle from Jeff in response, and Nick couldn't help but gasp at the musical sound. He could barely stop himself from wondering what Jeff's voice would sound like, and he couldn't even find himself upset when he remembered he'd probably never know. "Hey, Jeffy?" Nick looked over at the blonde resting on him.

Jeff's eyebrows shot up, and he looked at Nick, silently asking, '_what_?'

"I... I love you." Nick bit his lip as soon as the words came from his mouth, and he started to panic silently. What if it was too soon? What if Jeff didn't feel the same way at all? What if—

"I love you too."

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**There's part II! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, I won't leave it on that cliffie for too long. TW for this chapter (slurs and violence and also extreme sads). This chapter had a working title of Bad Things Happen to Good People. Enjoy.**

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Nick was at a loss for words. Had Jeff just said he loved him? Jeff… _Said something? _He tried to speak, but his mouth hung open as he stared blankly at the blond resting on him.

Jeff started nibbling on his bottom lip. He couldn't believe he'd just said that. That was the first thing he'd said to someone in over thirteen years. He stood up, pushing away from Nick as he did so, and shook his head. "I'm sorry," he mouthed, and grabbed his coat. And, just as quickly as he'd blurted those four words, he was gone.

Nick stared at the doorway, frowning deeply. He was absolutely utterly confused. Why had Jeff run away like that? "I thought you loved me," he whispered, and started to cry from the frustration. He saw his keys on the bedside table, and sighed. That meant Jeff was walking, despite the below zero weather. He sniffled and wiped his tears away, knowing that if he made too much noise, the doctors would sedate him again.

* * *

Jeff didn't stop running; from the time he left Nick's room to the time he found himself in the alleyway behind a thrift store. He sunk down to the ground, his back against the brick wall, as he struggled to catch his breath. How many blocks had he run? Sixteen? Nineteen? He lost count. He grabbed at his chest as he tried to get oxygen into his lungs, but no matter how hard he tried, nothing was happening. So, he sat there, gasping for air, sobbing, and trying not to black out. It took him ten minutes, but eventually, he got his breathing back to normal. He closed his eyes and rested his head between his knees, trying to calm himself down. His breathing may have been normal, but his emotions sure weren't.

He tried grasping what had happened: he'd told Nick he loved him. He didn't understand why he was freaking out about it; he _did _love Nick. Why was it such a problem, then? Nick obviously loved him, and when two people love each other… Well, isn't that supposed to be a good thing?

_Useless, _he told himself. _That's all you are. You're useless, and you're a failure. And now Nick probably hates you. Good job, freak. You had a chance at getting someone good and you let it go. He could find anybody now. He's gonna find a nice guy and get with him and they'll be able to _talk _about their feelings, and kiss each other, and have sex with each other. You can't even do any of that. The only communication you can muster is with yourself, you pathetic loser. _By then, he was crying again. He'd always hated himself—that was no secret. But, his self-loathing had never gotten to the point where he'd hated himself more than he did in that moment.

Sighing, Jeff stood up and fixed his hair. He needed to face Nick; he couldn't just run away from him like that. That wasn't fair to Nick, or to himself. He decided it'd be better just to take a taxi back to the hospital, the frost was nipping at his ears and the wind was picking up. He bit his lip and walked into the nearest store (which, incidentally, happened to be the thrift shop he had been behind) and bought a notebook and a pen. Sighing again, he scribbled down '_can you call a cab for me?_'

He showed the paper to a clerk that didn't exactly seem to be working, more texting than anything. She nodded, tilting her head. "Frog in your throat?" She asked, dialing the number.

'_Something like that.' _He took the paper from the notebook and put it on the desk, then tucked the book and pen inside his bag. He figured that would be the best way to communicate with Nick, and then he made a mental note to get a cell phone. He thanked the girl behind the counter with a smile, and left the store.

He patted his pants down for his wallet, and frowned when he couldn't feel it. He began frantically searching all of his pockets, and then inside his bag, but it was nowhere to be found. _Shitshitshit. _Maybe it was still in the alleyway? He ran back to where he had been before, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a group of men, all looking to be in their twenties. They were all smoking something that smelled horrendous—Jeff guessed it was marijuana—and talking over each other.

One of them seemed to notice Jeff (who was cowering behind a fence), and called out "The fuck do you want?"

Jeff stepped out and tried not to glance at his wallet on the ground. Maybe if they didn't see it, he could just run it, grab it, and run away. No harm, no foul, right?

Wrong. As soon as Jeff made a grab for the wallet, they all turned around and made a go at him. He tucked it into his pocket quickly and put his hands up, trying to show them he meant no harm. The guys started to back off, but the one who had originally spotted him didn't seem to want to. Jeff swallowed nervously and tried to back away, but he tripped and fell on his ass. This provoked a chuckle out of the menacing man standing before him, and before Jeff could even tell what was going on, he was clutching his stomach in pain.

"This is my turf," he hissed in Jeff's face, and Jeff turned his face away. Jeff couldn't escape—the man had him by his collar, and he couldn't yell for help either. He was trapped. Jeff just swallowed nervously again, and closed his eyes. "_Nobody _invades on my turf. You got that?"

Jeff nodded quickly, hoping that if the man killed him, it would be quick and painless. After he landed a few more blows on Jeff (in sensitive spots), he let Jeff go, and the blond crumpled to the ground, sobbing into his hands. Everything hurt. Just when he thought he was done getting beaten up, each of the other guys took a turn at kicking him. There were six of them, not including the first guy that beat him in the first place. All six of the blows were in different spots—one to his stomach, one to his face, one to his balls, one to his shin, one to the middle of his back, and one to his wrist. He could hear the snap of his wrist immediately on impact, and he let out a loud cry.

_Oh god oh god oh god. _He could hardly breathe, and everything was going hazy. He was vaguely aware of the blood dripping from his mouth, and the blood leaking from his nose, and his eyebrow—there was blood _everywhere. _He sobbed again and tried to adjust his position so that, if he threw up during the imminent unconsciousness to follow, he wouldn't choke on it. But that seemed to hurt more than the initial beating did, and he let out a scream. He held his breath after, hoping that the dickheads hadn't heard it… He didn't want them coming back for more.

After what seemed like hours, hell, _days, _he felt someone washing the blood off of his face. He looked up and recognized the clerk from the counter inside the thrift store. He coughed quietly and lifted his head, trying to focus on keeping her gaze. "…Wh…" he tried to get a word out, but he snapped his mouth shut. There was no use in wasting his words on someone he didn't know.

"Hey, hey," the clerk—her nametag read _Riley_—whispered. "Don't strain yourself. I called an ambulance already. They're gonna get you to the hospital and you're gonna be okay, okay?" Jeff just nodded in response, closing his eyes. "No, you don't," she said. "No sleeping until the medics have you. Do you have all of your stuff? Did they steal anything?"

Jeff blinked slowly, trying to comprehend what she'd said. After a few moments, he lazily rooted through his blood-covered bag to check everything was there. Notebook, pen, iPod, headphones, granola bar, keys. He patted his pocket for his wallet, and then nodded, giving her a thumbs-up.

Forty-four breaths (Jeff liked to count them when he was waiting) later, he could hear a faint wailing in the distance. Sirens. They were coming to save him, and take all the pain away. He lazily reached for Riley's hand and took it, giving it a soft squeeze. It was all he could muster to thank her, and he figured she deserved it. She kissed his cheek and he blushed.

It didn't take long for the medics to find him, but it took a while to get him on the stretcher. He was resistant and cried out every time they jolted him—something was _always _hurting. Eventually, he was in the ambulance, speeding away from the thrift shop, away from Riley-who-he-couldn't-thank, and away from all the pain. The last thing on his mind before he passed out was _thank god for morphine._

* * *

All day after Jeff left, all Nick could do was think about him. He tried to distract himself in any way possible—he'd count the ceiling tiles, and he'd start seeing Jeff's name written in the patterns. He would try to think of one thing he loved that started with each letter of the alphabet: apple juice, baseball, cookies, Dalton, Eye of the Tiger, French class, golf, hazel eyes—_Jeff has hazel eyes. _Needless to say, he could never make it past _h. _The one time he did, he had to start all over as soon as he got to _J, _and by then he was already sick of that game. He was just about to start watching television when a couple of nurses and a doctor wheeled in another bed. _A roommate? Something ought to cure my boredom. Or my obsessively-in-love-with-Jeff syndrome. _

He glanced over at the person on the bed and had to do a double take when it was none other than the person who had been plaguing him all day—Jeff. He wiped his eyes; sure his mind was playing some sort of sick joke on him. But, no, Jeff was still lying there on the bed. He was happy for a moment—he got to see Jeff, for Heavens' sake!—but then it hit him: _Jeff _was in a _hospital bed. _Jeff was in a hospital bed _unconscious. _

That's when the room started spinning.


	7. Chapter 7

**sup guys remember how I said 'fast updates' lol. but I'm working on something awesome with _life-in-the-stars _right now and it should be coming out within the next few weeks... I'm _really _excited for you guys to read it. But, for now, here's Speak chapter 6. Enjoy the fluffballs. Oh and I got a tumblr, if you wanna follow it's 'crazystupidriker' :) **

* * *

"Let me go," Nick hissed at the nurse holding him down. "Let me _go!_"

"No, Nicholas—"

"My name is _Nick!_"

"Okay, _Nick, _we can't let you out of the hospital bed for safety reasons. You need to calm down or else we'll have to use the sedatives on you again." The nurse threatened, using both of her hands to hold his shoulders down.

"I need to see him!"

"You can see him just fine from where you are—" there was the sound of skin hitting skin for a second, then a brief silence. Then, all that filled Nick's ears was the sound of the nurse calling for backup, and he could feel her holding him down harder.

"Get off of me!" He screamed, trying to ignore the stinging pain in his hand. _Oh… I hit her. That's what that noise was._ "Get off get off _get off_!"

He was about to try and push her off again when he felt hands all over him. He started thrashing, trying to get the people off of him, but nobody let go. He felt something being cuffed around his ankles and wrists, and then a tug on his IV.

Then, everything went black.

—

Jeff awoke to a very incessant, annoying beeping. Upon further investigation, he realized that he could hear two separate things beeping. After he thought about it for another second, it clicked. Heart monitors. One was his, and the other was his roommate's. Okay, so far, so good.

He looked down at himself, moaning at the pain moving his head caused, and tried to assess his wounds. He could tell that his wrist was definitely broken, and he could feel various parts of his body aching. He closed his eyes, sighing. Most people, when they woke up in the hospital, had no recollection of what had happened. Jeff, however? He remembered everything, down to the color of the attacker's eyes. He sniffled and tried to find a more comfortable position, but nothing worked. He winced and pressed down on the nurse call button that was situated next to his hand, closing his eyes.

Not five minutes later, a nurse came in and asked what he needed. _Shit. _He bit his lip and pointed to his throat, then made a cutting motion across it.

"You lost your voice?" Jeff shook his head no. "Frog in your throat?" _No. _"Don't know English?"

_Oh, for fuck's sake. Have you never heard of mutism? _He sighed and clenched his fists a bit, then signed, "I don't talk" to her, hoping that she either understood or got someone else who did. She nodded her head and left the room, and another nurse came in a few moments later. Jeff sighed in relief when she started signing to him, and responded back immediately.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Everything hurts. I need aspirin and ice."

"What's the ice for? I'll get you some morphine."

"I got kicked in the sensitive bits."

"Ah," she said aloud, and then nodded. "I'll be back in a minute. You can hear, right?" When Jeff nodded his head, she smiled sadly at him, and then walked away.

After a few more moments of trying to get his strength back, he finally pulled himself up into a sitting position. He looked over at the door, wondering when the nurse was going to come back with his ice. He happened to glance down at the person in the other bed, and had to do a double take.

There was no _way _he had ended up in the same room as Nick. No way. He looked on his bedside table for something to throw at Nick, to wake him up, and settled on the granola bar he found inside his bag (it was beneath the table, thank god). He tossed it over, and it hit Nick in the cheek. He giggled softly, and then watched as Nick shifted a bit. He kept watching him intently, not even noticing that the nurse had come back.

"Do you want me to close the curtain?" She asked, and Jeff shook his head profusely. He took the icepack from her with a small smile, and tried to situate it between his legs without it actually touching skin. Once he got it, he leaned back, relieved. He thanked her in sign for the morphine, and watched as she left. He glanced over at Nick again, who was just staring at him, his eyes squinted. Jeff blushed and looked away from him, remembering that he'd run away from Nick in the first place.

"You can't just ignore me forever," Nick said. "I know you're not gonna respond, but… At least let me know, somehow, that you're not angry with me?" Jeff looked over at him and shrugged. "Are you mad?" Jeff shook his head. "Okay… Are you okay?" Jeff shook his head again. "Did someone hurt you?" Nod. "Did you know them?"

Jeff sighed and shook his head, again, and ran his hand through his hair. He got the notepad from his bag and scribbled something out for Nick. _These guys attacked me. There was like seven of them, and the one beat me up while the others watched, then they all took turns axe-kicking me. I wish I had a phone, this would be easier. _He handed the paper over to Nick, and Nick read over it.

"Can you do me a huge favor?" Nick asked, and Jeff nodded. "Call a nurse in here? I can't reach my button." Jeff looked down at his hands, and realized that he was strapped down. Jeff pressed the button, and laid back down, staring up at the ceiling.

It took almost ten minutes of convincing, but Nick finally got the nurse to let him go from the cuffs around his wrists. "You could've put them on tighter," he hissed to her, rubbing them.

He waited until the nurse was gone, and then grabbed his phone from the drawer on his bedside table. After a quick call with his mom, he smiled softly.

_What did you just do? _Jeff wrote on the paper. _You know I don't understand Spanish. _

"Oh, I was speaking in Spanish? Oops… You'll see!" He winked, and smiled. "Mind if I eat this?" He said, holding up the granola bar that Jeff had thrown at him. Jeff blushed, and Nick smiled. He opened it and halved it, tossing the half in the wrapper to Jeff.

After a few idle hours spent watching television and just staring at each other, Nick's mom came in. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Jeff over on the other bed, and Shiloh walked over to the chair beside Jeff. She hadn't spoken to him before, but she still sat next to him and took his hand. Jeff blushed and smiled softly, touched by her kind gesture.

"Nick, what's he doing here?" Nancy asked loudly, as if Jeff couldn't hear her.

"Mom, he's a mute, he's not deaf. He's here because he got hurt." He held his hand out, and she put the box into it. He put that on his bedside table and talked with them for a few more minutes before Nancy got bored and left with Shiloh. "God, I hate her," he sighed. He tossed the box over to Jeff, and smiled. "There. Phone."

After ten minutes of figuring the phone out with Jeff, Nick's phone buzzed. It was a simple text from a new, unknown number.

_I love you. –J_


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, I feel as if this chapter is gonna get a bit confusing for you guys. So the format is: An excerpt from Jeff's journal, then Jeff in the present time, then Jeff in the past. There is no Nick in this chapter, sorry. Lots of feels ahead, and sorry it took so damn long to update!**

* * *

_There's a moment in life where it feels like you're falling. You're falling towards nothingness; descending in a bottomless pit. In that moment, you can scream, you can grapple for something, _anything_ to grab onto to stop the fall… Even though you already know, deep inside, that there's no stopping this. So even if you had found something to hold onto… You let go. Suddenly, the dark pit doesn't seem so scary anymore. It feels almost leisurely. In fact, you're not falling at all; you're gliding. You're drifting down to safety, where you know there's going to be a bed of feathers at the bottom. You know all this, that is, until it hits you. Or rather, you hit it. You land, hard, on a cold cement floor. Then, just as quickly as the falling started, it stops. And then there's nothing. It's black._

_Dark._

_Bleak._

_Nothing._

_Empty._

_It's satisfying. I like the solitude. I love being alone. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I'm so lonely… I love it._

**xXx**

He tries to bask in the loneliness of his life; he really does. But at times, the silence and solitude is often too much. But still, Jeff refuses to say a single word. After many years of not speaking, he's grown accustomed to just using simple hand gestures, if anything, to communicate. He still hasn't informed Nick why he's mute. He doesn't want to, he doesn't want anyone knowing. He hates thinking about it, just the thought makes his skin crawl.

He turns over, sighing, and scratching at his arms. _Maybe tomorrow will be better, _he thinks to himself, watching Nick sleep soundly across the room from him. _Yeah… Tomorrow's a brand new day. _With that, he allowed his eyes to flutter closed, and fell asleep just minutes after.

**xXx**

"Jeffy, wake up!" A familiar voice rings through his ears, and Jeff groans, opening his eyes.

"Whozzit?" He asks groggily, rubbing over his tired eyes with his palms. "Time'zit?"

"It's ten, Jeff. You gotta get up, bud, we're gonna be late."

"Mmm… Ten more minutes," Jeff groaned, and rolled back over, pulling a pillow over his head.

"Nope! Come on, lazybones, get out of bed." With that, Jeff felt himself being hoisted up into much stronger arms. He curled into his brother's form and tried to fall back asleep, but his brother was having none of that. "Get up, get dressed, and get ready to go!" He put Jeff down on the floor inside the bathroom, and walked away.

Jeff had never been more excited for anything in his life. Today was the day that his brother, Jeff's senior by ten years, was taking him out to the carnival and for ice cream. Jeff, being only six, was excited beyond belief. After he dressed himself quickly (in red pants and a blue shirt, a monstrosity that caught his mother's eye), he gave his mom and dad a kiss on their cheeks before leaving with Jared.

After a day of spinning and tumbling and twirling, Jeff finally wanted to go home. He and Jared went to the ice cream parlor that was only about twenty minutes from their house. After enjoying their ice cream, Jeff managed to rope Jared into playing two rounds of air hockey with him. Jared carried his tired six-year-old brother to the car, and strapped him into his booster seat. This was Jeff's favorite part of car rides: if he fell asleep, he always got carried inside. So that's exactly what he did. He rested his head on his shoulder and slept, and not a sound disturbed him.

That is, until he was awoken abruptly by the sound of metal crunching on metal. "_Jeff!"_ He could hear his brother scream. He tried to cry back, but the force of something blunt smacking into the side of his head knocked him out cold.

He woke up mere moments later when he felt hands on him. He started screaming, trying to swat them away, but they didn't let go. He looked up and saw a fireman holding him, and he just started crying. The six-year-old was terrified. He hugged onto the firefigher, and watched helplessly as they tried to pull his older brother from the front of the ruined family car. He caught a glimpse of Jared's face, and he screamed, hiding his own face into the fireman's jacket. Jared was pronounced dead immediately, and Jeff was brought to the hospital to treat his minor injuries and the shock and trauma the event had caused.

Every day for the next month, Jeff would wake up in the same hospital bed, wearing the same gown, with absolutely no recollection of the event. He'd simply ask, "where's Jared?" And his mother would reply, sadly, "he's gone." Jeff would cry, asking where he went, and when he was getting back, but after the fifth time, his parents stopped trying to explain it. Jeff's doctor gave him stabilizers, and eventually, he stopped asking.

Once he was discharged from the hospital, he ran up to Jared's room, expecting to see his older brother there. But the room was full of emptiness. The furniture was still there, but it had that eerie empty feeling to it, like the one you get when you look at the corpse of a loved one. Jeff stared down angrily at the carpet, and kicked at a box that was next to Jared's bed. "Where's Jared?" Jeff asked, for the thirty-first time. His father lost it on him.

"_Don't you get it?" _Daniel, a man of merely forty-two, screamed into Jeff's face. "_He's dead, you little brat!"_

"Daniel, stop this!" Laura countered, trying to shut her husband up. "He's only six, he doesn't know what he's done wrong!"

"He's doing this on purpose!" Daniel yelled. "To piss me off! Well I'm not dealing with it any longer!"

Jeff cowered, terrified, behind the box he'd previously been kicking.

"He's dead," Daniel hissed into Jeff's face. "You killed him. It's _your _fault, and don't you be playing innocent about it. I can't _believe _you sometimes, you selfish little…"

"_Daniel, enough_!" Laura pushed him away from his son. "Don't take it out on him! It isn't his fault!"

"It is not enough, I'm not going to stop until this _demon child _realizes what he's done!"

Jeff was on the floor, sobbing into his knees. He'd never seen his parents _that _angry before. "D-Daddy, please—"

"No, Jeffrey! This isn't something I can just forgive you for! Jared was my son, and you killed him."

"I-I'm yo-your son too!" Jeff cried.

"Not anymore," Daniel spat.

"Daddy, w-wait—"

But daddy didn't wait. No, daddy turned his back and walked out the door, never to be seen or heard from again. Jeff did the same thing, in some ways. At that moment, he'd decided that if nobody was going to hear his thoughts, why should he voice them at all?

So when his mother fell to her knees, crying about losing her son and father, Jeff just stood up, kissed her cheek, and brushed past her. He stayed in his room for the rest of the night, enjoying the solitude. He loved not having to hear his parents bicker, and he allowed himself to think—just for a moment—that it was sort of good that his father was gone.

He finally got what he'd always wanted: some peace and quiet.

* * *

**Well, there you have it. I'm an awful person, I know. But hey, now we know why Jeff is a mute... But Nick still doesn't. And guess what? This fic is 1 review away from 50! So, I'm doing a little contest. The first _three _people to review with their name somewhere in the review will get a mention in the next chapter, as a minor character. So go ahead, review away! :) xoxo, Char**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hiya! Ooo, quick updates. This chapter isn't as sad as the last, but it's still pretty sad. **

* * *

Jeff woke up in a cold sweat. He sat up, whimpering, and immediately tried to pull away from everything that was holding him down. There were blankets on him, and they felt confining. He kicked them off, not caring that he was only in a hospital gown. He tried to get away from his pillows, and pushed his hair out of his face. He was crying by then. He wanted to stand up and walk around, but there were wires attached to him everywhere. He tried to pull his IV out, but it started stinging, and he let out a loud cry.

"Jeff, what's wrong?" He heard Nick ask from the other side of the room, groggy. Jeff looked up at the clock and saw it was only six in the morning. Jeff just shook his head, trying to get the needle out of his skin. Nick quietly pressed the nurse call button, unsure of what else to do. "Jeff, you should really calm down, it's okay." Nick looked around at himself, and, because he wasn't attached to any unnecessary wires, stood up. He wrapped the blanket around himself because of the revealing gown he was wearing, and padded over to Jeff. He sat down on the edge of Jeff's bed and held his arms out, and Jeff sobbed softly.

Nick's heart broke right then, seeing how upset Jeff was. He hated hearing Jeff cry; it was awful. Jeff crawled close to Nick and curled up into his arms, crying into Nick's shoulder. Nick pulled Jeff's blanket over him and rocked him back and forth, whispering soothing words into his ear as he rubbed Jeff's back. "Do you… Do you wanna show me what's wrong?" Nick asked softly. "You can write it down." Jeff quickly shook his head, and buried his face into Jeff's neck.

A petite, Italian-looking nurse let herself in the closed door, and walked over to the bed. "You called?" She asked, not even asking about the situation. Jeff's chart had already told her all about his mental instability, so she knew he was probably having an anxiety attack. Jeff looked up at the nurse, and sniffled. Nick smoothed Jeff's hair down, and Jeff blushed.

"I don't know what's wrong—" Nick started, and the nurse interrupted him.

"I asked Jeff," she said.

"Jeff doesn't talk."

"Oh. Jeff, can you maybe write down what the problem is? If you're hurting, I can get you some medicine." The nurse said, in a sweet, soothing voice. Jeff trusted her; she hadn't tried to hurt him. He went back to the top of the bed, leaving Nick at the foot, and curled up under his blanket again. He got his notebook off of the side table, and scribbled something down with the pen.

_I just had a nightmare. There's nothing medicine can do. _

Nodding, she chewed her lower lip. "Okay, then why did you call me in?"

"That was me, sorry," Nick blushed, scratching the back of his neck. She nodded slowly, and pursed her lips.

"Right… Okay. If there's anything else you need, legitimately, call me in. My name is Romina, by the way, if you wanted to request me specifically." She left, and Nick made his way up Jeff's bed so he could lie down next to Jeff. Jeff looked into Nick's eyes, and then sniffled softly.

Nick kissed Jeff's nose, and Jeff rested his head on Nick's chest, sighing. "Are you okay?" Nick asked simply, running his fingers through Jeff's hair. Jeff shook his head.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Jeff confirmed that with a nod, and Nick continued. "Was it real?" Jeff raised an eyebrow at Nick in confusion, and Nick bit his lip. "Sorry. Like, was it something that had happened to you before?" Jeff nodded, and curled in closer to Nick, trying to wrap his arms around his stomach while still holding the other boy somehow.

"Oh… I'll listen, if you want to tell me about it," Nick suggested, and Jeff just shook his head. "Do you want to get your mind off of it?" At Jeff's nod, Nick tipped Jeff's chin up with two fingers. "How?" Nick studied Jeff's face as he shrugged, and Nick slowly leaned in to kiss Jeff on the lips. Jeff melted into the kiss, and closed his eyes. He'd forgotten how awesome that felt, to be attached to Nick so intimately. Jeff pulled away with a small smile, and rested his head on Nick's chest.

After an hour, Jeff finally fell back asleep, and Nick slipped out of the bed. He went back to his own bed so he could grab his laptop, which he used to search for the perfect song. He had a plan in his mind, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to follow through with it.

Apart from dealing with the hospital's slow, crappy wi-fi all day, nothing really happened until about lunchtime. After a brute nurse came in and delivered their mediocre lunches (which neither of them touched), Nick had called his mother. She brought him clothes, and lunch for he and Jeff, but didn't stick around long, claiming she had a prior engagement. Nick and Jeff had a picnic on Jeff's bed, and Nick was astonished by the fact that Jeff was smiling and giggling. He seemed happy, and Nick was so grateful for that. Once they'd finished eating, they laid down together to watch a movie on Nick's laptop, but they both got bored halfway through.

Nick was about to suggest they play a game on their phones when there was a knock on the door. Nick looked back and saw two adults he didn't recognize, so he stood and gathered his laptop. He shuffled back over to his bed and sat down, pretending to listen to music on his phone. He also pretended not to notice how pale Jeff had gotten, and how Jeff had grabbed at him to make him stay.

"Hi, Jeff," the female said, and Jeff looked up at her. She took Jeff's hand and sat by his bedside, and Jeff just took his hand back, folding them neatly into his lap. "Jeffy, don't be like this, sweety."

_'Why is he here?' _Jeff signed to his mother, tears pricking at his eyes.

'_He made me bring him. He came to the house and demanded to see you. I told him you were here, and he made me. I'm so sorry, pumpkin.' _She sighed, and leaned back in her chair.

"Laura, what are you doing?"

"Talking to Jeff," she responded, shrugging.

"Oh, so the idiot is deaf? That's great. That's hilarious. Had it coming—"

"He's not deaf, you moron," Laura hissed. "He can hear everything you're saying, Daniel."

Jeff had started crying again, but this time it was silent, and into a half-curled fist. Laura stroked Jeff's arm, trying to comfort him, even though she knew just as well as Jeff did that nothing would work until Daniel was gone.

"Listen to me, Jeff," Daniel said, trying to crouch down to Jeff's level. "I wanted to talk to you. Are you going to respond?" Jeff didn't make eye contact with him, just shook his head profusely. "Why not?" Jeff whined, and scooted away from him, cowering. "Jeffrey Matthew, you are going to respond to me, this _instant._"

"Daniel, it's no use. He hasn't talked in ten years. Don't think you're going to make him change that."

"That's bullshit," Jeff's father responded. He slapped Jeff across the face, and then forced Jeff to look up at him. "_Talk._" Jeff whimpered, and tried to pull away, his eyes squeezed shut. Laura sat, frozen in shock. She couldn't believe Daniel had the audacity to come back and treat her son like this.

Nick, on the other hand, was fuming. He had heard everything Daniel said to Jeff, and wasn't in the mood to hear any more. He quietly slipped off of the bed, and made his way over to the other side of the room. He wordlessly grabbed Jeff's father by the hair and forcefully pulled him off of Jeff. "Out." Nick hissed.

"Excuse me?" Daniel countered, trying to pry Nick off of him. "Who do you think you are?"

"A decent human being. Get _out."_ He pushed Daniel towards the door, and had to hold back a giggle when he fell to his knees. "Don't make me call security. Don't make this weird. Just go."

Daniel scoffed, and stood up. He brushed off his knees, and rolled his shoulders back. "Fine," he responded. "But just know, as soon as _you_," he pointed to Jeff, and Jeff whimpered. "Turn eighteen, I'm going to find you, and there's nothing the court can do about it."

"We'll see about that," Laura hissed, and pushed Daniel all the way out of the room, finally recovering from her initial shock. She sat back down, not saying anything to Nick and Jeff aside from a small "Sorry."

Nick sat on the edge of Jeff's bed and stroked his cheek. "Are you okay? Do you need some ice?" Jeff shook his head, and looked down at the bed sheets. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that, Jeff. I should've spoken up sooner."

"I-It's o-ok-kay," Jeff stammered out, so quietly that Nick would've missed it had he not been looking at Jeff. Laura gasped, looking up at her son. Nick took Jeff's hand in his and squeezed it softly, not wanting to make a big deal out of it and embarrassing Jeff.

It took almost an hour of convincing, but Laura finally believed that Jeff was okay for the night on his own. She left, closing the door behind her, and Nick sat in the chair she'd been in. "Your hands must hurt from all that sign language," Nick tried to joke, but Jeff already had his face buried in his hands.

Immediately, Nick knew what was wrong. He'd been acting strong in front of his mom to get her to leave, so that he could cry. Nick frowned, and climbed up onto the bed next to Jeff. "Hey," he whispered. "Hey, Jeff, it's okay. Do you want me to hold you?" Jeff nodded quickly, and Nick did as he was told. He scooped Jeff up into his lap and tucked Jeff's face into his neck, trying to ignore Jeff's sobs and occasional screams. Nick kissed Jeff's hair every so often, and after about ten minutes of Jeff's crying, he started to sing, hoping it would soothe Jeff even a little bit.

_"Before I fall too fast  
Kiss me quick but make it last  
So I can see how badly this will hurt me when you say goodbye"_

Jeff had stopped screaming, but he was still sobbing. He wrapped his arms around Nick's middle, and rested his head on Nick's chest.

_"Keep it sweet, keep it slow  
Let the future pass and don't let go  
But tonight I could fall too soon into this beautiful moonlight_

_But you're so hypnotizing_  
_You've got me laughing while I sing_  
_You've got me smiling in my sleep_  
_And I can see this unraveling_  
_Your love is where I'm falling_  
_But please don't catch me..._

_See this heart won't settle down_  
_Like a child running scared from a clown_  
_I'm terrified of what you do_  
_My stomach screams just when I look at you_

_Run far away so I can breathe_  
_Even though you're far from suffocating me_  
_I can't set my hopes too high_  
_'Cause every "Hello" ends with a "Goodbye"_

_But you're so hypnotizing_  
_You've got me laughing while I sing_  
_You've got me smiling in my sleep_  
_And I can see this unraveling_  
_Your love is where I'm falling_  
_But please don't catch me..._

_So now you see why I'm scared_  
_I can't open up my heart without a care_  
_But here I go, It's what I feel_  
_And for the first time in my life I know it's real_

_But you're so hypnotizing_  
_You've got me laughing while I sing_  
_You've got me smiling in my sleep_  
_And I can see this unraveling_  
_Your love is where I'm falling_  
_So please don't catch me_

_If this is love please don't break me_  
_I'm giving up so just catch me"_

By the time Nick had finished the song, Jeff was sound asleep, and Nick felt okay about leaving Jeff alone for the night to get rest. Nick pulled away quietly, and set Jeff down gently. He tucked Jeff in and pulled the blanket up to the blond's chin. Jeff made a contented noise and snuggled into the pillow. Nick took his jacket off and draped it over Jeff's shoulders. He fell asleep in his own bed, and didn't make a peep all night.

* * *

**There we go. Jeff really needed that breakdown, guys. Poor guy has been through so much. I know I said I'd mention three people, but I only fit one in. I'll do a few more in the next couple of chapters. This story is coming to a close pretty soon, and I'm gonna miss it! I've put off publishing my new story until Speak is done; I want to make sure that I commit to finishing Speak. -xoxo Char**

**PS: The song is Catch Me, by Demi Lovato :) **


	10. Chapter 10

**There is smut in this chapter. Skip it if it makes you uncomfortable, yeah? **

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Nick was released from the hospital the day after, but Jeff was left to wallow for another three days. Nick visited him each day, and stayed from the time visiting hours started until the time they ended. Once Jeff was finally settled back to Dalton, Nick had decided to take Jeff out for lunch. Neither of them felt like going anywhere, so they just strolled down to the cafeteria, hand-in-hand. They hadn't come up with an official title for their relationship, but Nick was happy for the time being, just being close to the boy he loved.

At lunch, as Jeff took the first bite of his turkey sandwich, he saw a few boys sit down next to Nick and himself. This made him uncomfortable, so he put the sandwich down and wrapped his arms around his middle.

"Hey, Nick!" The curly-haired one said. "How've you been? Glad to see you're out from the hospital."

"Yeah! Biology has been a total drag without you around, bro," the African-American continued for the other. Jeff closed his eyes and counted to ten in his head. The one sitting next to him was touching him. He wasn't doing it on purpose, they were just sitting close enough that their thighs touched.

The shortest one spoke next, "mind if we sit with you for lunch, to catch up?"

Nick was about to say they could, but he saw how uncomfortable Jeff looked. "I… Could I just catch up with you guys tomorrow?" He took Jeff's hand and squeezed it, to reassure the blond.

"Oh—"

"Oh."

"Oh, okay." All of the boys understood, when Nick took Jeff's hand. "Nicky's on a date," Blaine teased. Nick pushed him gently, and Blaine smiled. The boys all walked away, and Nick looked at Jeff.

"You okay, Jeffy?"

Jeff nodded his head, and kissed Nick's hand to thank him. Their lunch was uneventful after that, so they eventually wandered back up to their dorm. They were sitting on Nick's bed, watching another movie, when there was a sex scene. Nick looked over at Jeff, who was blushing profusely. Nick paused the movie and closed the laptop, pushing it aside. "How come you get so flustered whenever sex is mentioned?" Nick poked Jeff's side.

Jeff buried his face in his hands, and Nick kissed his forehead. "I think it's really cute, actually. You're so innocent." Jeff looked up at him and quirked an eyebrow.

Honestly speaking, he did not know what overcame him in that moment. Maybe it was how Nick's hair was falling differently that day, or the fact that he was sixteen and had never even had an orgasm before, but something made him _unbelievably _horny. He bit his lip and, in a random show of dominance, crawled into Nick's lap, draping one leg over each side of Nick's thighs. He captured Nick's lips in a passionate kiss, parting his lips as he brushed one hand through Nick's hair.

Nick let out a moan in surprise, and opened his eyes to stare at Jeff. Jeff didn't return the stare, so Nick let his lids flutter shut as he returned the kiss. He parted his lips as well and allowed Jeff's tongue to trace patterns over his own. Nick shivered and rested his hands on Jeff's lower back, but then started to run his right hand up and down Jeff's side. Jeff pulled away from Nick's lips, but didn't get off of Nick. Instead, he started peppering kisses down Nick's neck, and moved his blazer aside so he could suck a spot onto Nick's collarbone, hoping he wasn't overstepping too many boundaries.

Nick couldn't help the tiny whine that escaped his lips when Jeff did that, his collarbones being sucked on was apparently a huge turn-on for him. He closed his eyes and leaned back a little, trying to lie down so they could be more comfortable. Jeff nodded and adjusted their position, and Nick was soon on his back. Jeff pushed Nick's jacket off of him, and then took his own off. He started unbuttoning Nick's shirt as he kissed him, wanting to feel his chest.

Nick sat up a little to help Jeff strip him of all of his clothing, and soon they lay, tangled together, only in their boxers. Jeff had his hand on the small of Nick's back, the other in his hair, and Nick was using both hands to explore Jeff's chest. Nick pulled away so their lips weren't locked anymore, and just looked Jeff in the eyes. "You promise you're not gonna run away from me this time?" He asked quietly, cupping Jeff's face. Jeff nodded quickly in response, and Nick kissed him again. "Good… Because that broke my heart last time."

Jeff apologized with a kiss, and then moved a little closer to him. Jeff adjusted their hips so they were resting flush against each other, and he bit his lip. He kissed Nick's jaw and jutted his hips forward into Nick's just a bit, and Nick gasped loudly, throwing his head back. "Oh god," Nick whined. Jeff pulled away, a shocked look on his face. "N-No, Jeffy, don't—"

Jeff shook his head and kissed Nick. He traced the word '_sorry'_ into Nick's chest, and then rocked his hips forward again, already missing the feeling. Nick ran his fingers through Jeff's hair, whimpering. "Maybe we should stop," Nick whispered, and Jeff whined in frustration. "It's not that I don't want you, 'cuz I do. But don't you want to wait?"

Jeff tilted his head, and Nick continued, "we've only been together for a few days. Hell, we don't even have an official title to our relationship… Do you want to wait a while? Make sure we really love each other first?"

Jeff simply shook his head no. "I _do _love you," he mumbled. "I swear." He shut his mouth and kissed Nick. '_Promise,_' he traced into Nick's chest.

Nick blushed, and smiled, happy that he could get Jeff to speak. He wrapped his arms around Jeff's middle and pulled him close again, kissing him desperately. "Good… 'Cuz I didn't wanna wait either."

Jeff chuckled and ran his hands over Nick's chest. Nick shivered, and sat up a little bit. "I love you," he whispered, and pressed his lips to Jeff's. Finally, he felt happy. Like anything could happen to them, and he would be okay with it. He felt like he could take on the world with Jeff at his side, and for that, he was eternally grateful. Jeff's lips on his neck pulled him away from his sweet train of thought and brought him back to reality. He closed his eyes and smoothed Jeff's hair down. "Want you," he murmured, encouraging Jeff.

Jeff's long, shaky fingers slowly receded towards the waistband of Nick's boxers. Nick shivered when Jeff ran his fingertips underneath the elastic, and then yelped when Jeff snapped them against his skin. He giggled and kissed Jeff's cheek. "You're so hot," he mumbled, and slowly, carefully flipped them over, so he was on top. He licked up Jeff's neck towards his jawline, and captured his lips in a needy kiss. Jeff moaned and Nick moved closer, wanting to hear that noise again.

After only a few more moments of this kissing, Jeff couldn't take any more. He reached down and pushed his boxers down as well as he could with Nick in the way, whining in protest. Nick got the message and pulled away, helping him strip out of the piece of clothing. He did the same to himself and ran his hand up Jeff's inner thigh, studying his face, making sure he didn't back out. Then, slowly and surely, he wrapped his fingers around the base of Jeff's member, still watching his face.

Jeff's reaction was possibly the hottest thing Nick had ever seen. The blond, having never experienced pleasure for himself before, threw his head back and moaned, a bit louder than he should have (considering the walls were paper-thin). Nick started stroking his hand over Jeff's length as he moved back in to kiss his neck, breathing heavily as he tried to contain his moans of delight.

Jeff writhed under Nick's touch, wanting more while not being able to handle what he was feeling already. He shivered and curled his toes, closing his eyes as he whimpered.

Nick straddled Jeff's thigh and, pushing his own boxers down, brought their hips together. He hovered himself over Jeff a little, and lined their cocks up so they were touching, side by side. He slowly thrust his hips towards Jeff, to get a friction going. He gasped out loud and bit his lip. "F-Fuck," he hissed, and Jeff moaned. He loved when Nick talked dirty and swore.

Nick continued rolling their hips together, them both moaning from the friction and the feeling of finally being together so intimately. After a while of this, Nick felt like he just couldn't hold on much longer. "I'm getting close," he warned Jeff, kissing his neck. Jeff just whined in response, he had no idea what Nick wanted him to do with that information.

Nick started moving just a little faster, leaning over to the side table to grab the box of tissues there. He placed it next to Jeff on the bed and kissed him again, moaning quietly. He pulled away completely and started rubbing Jeff's length, holding a tissue with his other hand to try and keep mess to a minimum. Jeff watched Nick's hand go up and down quickly, and noticed the way he flicked his wrist each time he got to the top. He arched his back, breathing through his nose to try to minimize the amount of moans he was making.

Nick just kept his hand moving, watching Jeff. He was about to say something when Jeff suddenly spilled over his hand with a loud mix between a whine and a shout. Nick whined at the feeling, and waited until Jeff was finished before pulling his hand away. He quickly wiped it up, as well as Jeff's hips and member, and then kissed Jeff, stroking his own cock with his free hand.

Jeff fell back into the mattress, all of his muscles relaxing after that. He shivered and looked Nick in the eyes, biting his lip. Nick couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips, and he dropped his head down onto Jeff's chest. Jeff reached down and put one hand on the small of Nick's back, and wrapped the other around Nick's hand, which was pumping over the brunet's cock quickly. Nick looked up, and then moved his hand away, letting Jeff try. Jeff's hand was slow and hesitant, but it still felt really good, so he moaned and closed his eyes. He fell into the mattress and let Jeff sit up beside him, and Nick watched as he worked him off. "F-Feels really good, Jeffy," he assured him.

Jeff smiled softly and kissed Nick's jaw, and started moving his hand just a tad faster. Nick squirmed and reached for the box of tissues, and pulled a few out. He put them on his stomach, so Jeff could easily reach them if he so needed. Jeff traced '_close?_' into Nick's chest, and Nick took a moment to try and understand what Jeff had written. When he did, he nodded, and he ran his hand through Jeff's hair.

Jeff started moving his hand a little faster, running his other hand up and down Nick's side as he did so. Nick gasped and arched his hips up, and warned Jeff with a whimper of his name before he started coming.

Jeff worked Nick off through his orgasm, and then pulled his sticky hand away. He scrunched his face up and then wiped his hand off, then cleaned Nick up with the remaining tissues. He tossed them aside and curled into Nick's side, pulling the blanket over their waists for privacy. He kissed Nick's cheek and giggled, and Nick looked down at him.

"I love you," he mumbled, and kissed Jeff's forehead. "And I'm not just sayin' that."

Jeff smiled and kissed him on the lips. '_You too._' He mouthed, and closed his eyes.

"Oh, hey," Nick said, wrapping his arms around his lover. He took Jeff's hand and smiled. "The carnival is in town for this weekend, and the Warblers are performing there. I wasn't invited because I've been in the hospital… But would you still like to go? It would mean a lot to me."

Jeff just smiled nervously in response, and then pretended to be asleep.

* * *

**I'll try to update soon... I suck at this. I'm working on another story right now, it's called ****_The Bucket List _****(working title). It's Niff! I can't wait to publish it. And hopefully Casey and I can start working on A Dozen Black Roses soon... :) I'll keep y'all posted! xo**


	11. Chapter 11

**This chapter is just an emotional rollercoaster. Also it's like 3k words, so woo.**

**Also something huge: THIS STORY HAS 5.5 _THOUSAND _VIEWS. I AM REALLY EXCITED. I'm sure about 50 of those are mine, just making sure the chapters worked and stuff, but FIVE THOUSAND?! I'm just... Adsjkgls. I love you all. So much. Paige and Kathy, I promise I'll incorporate your names soon. XD **

* * *

"So, are you ready to go?" Nick asked, bouncing on his heels. He smiled over at Jeff, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, playing with his fingers. Jeff looked up at him, and shrugged. He nodded, and then stood up.

Nick watched as he padded over to the door and put his shoes on, and then reached for Nick's hand. They walked silently to the parking lot, and Nick got into the driver's seat of his car. Nick sang along to the radio as they made their way to the carnival, and he held Jeff's hand, squeezing it every now and again.

Jeff flipped down the mirror and looked at himself, hoping he didn't look like he was about to start panicking at any minute. He had bags under his eyes, mainly because he hadn't slept properly in a while. He sighed and looked over at Nick, who had parked the car and was now staring at Jeff. "What's wrong?" Nick asked. "You look beautiful today. You always do." He pecked Jeff's cheek, and Jeff blushed a dark shade of red, matching his t-shirt.

Nick smiled and pocketed his keys, then got out of the car. He opened Jeff's door for him, and then purchased passes when they got to the front booth. He could see the stage where the Warblers would be performing, but they weren't going to be there until about 4 PM, and it was only noon. They definitely had time to kill.

"Let's go on the Ferris wheel," Nick suggested. Jeff followed along, and got into the ride with him. He snuggled into Nick's side when another couple got onto the other side of the seat (to even the weight distribution out). He buried his face into Nick's neck; terrified of the couple that was sitting so close to them.

"It's alright," Nick murmured to Jeff. He was about to suggest getting off of the ride, but the girl working the ride had already started it. Nick finally managed to pry Jeff's face away from his neck when they were stopped at the top, so he could point out the beautiful view they had of Westerville from there. Jeff squealed and hid in Nick's neck again. "Scared of heights?" Jeff nodded quickly, squeezing his eyes shut. "Sorry," Nick squeezed around his middle. The ride went around three more times before they were finally able to get off, and Jeff was clinging onto Nick as soon as they were on solid ground.

Nick chuckled and kissed his cheek. "You're okay," he reassured him. "Do you wanna just try something a little bit less tall? Rollercoaster, maybe?"

Jeff nodded in agreement, and then pointed to a stand where there was somebody selling drinks and snacks. Nick nodded in response and brought Jeff over, and Jeff typed '_water'_ onto his phone, showing Nick. Jeff paid for their drinks, insisting on paying for something, and then they sat down on a bench. Jeff put his head on Nick's shoulder and sighed, staring out at the road.

He had to convince himself that that day _wasn't _going to end the way he thought it would. Nick was a good driver, and it wasn't supposed to rain at all. Still, he was terrified that he wouldn't be able to save Nick if something _did _happen. He had tried to convince Nick that he was feeling sick before, but he wasn't very good at faking it.

He sighed again and took a huge sip from his water, staring down at the ground. "Hot?" Nick asked, tucking Jeff's hair back. Jeff nodded, and drank some more. It only took him about thirty seconds to chug the water bottle, and he tossed it into the nearby garbage bin. After Nick finished off about half of his, he tucked it away into his pocket, smiling. "Ready now?"

Jeff nodded, and followed Nick to the next ride. The line was a little bit longer than the one for the Ferris wheel had been, so they waited an extra few minutes. In that time, Jeff had stolen Nick's water from him and drank that too, hoping he could keep up the illusion that he was sweating because it was hot out, and not because he was nervous and scared. They got onto the ride and Jeff took Nick's hand, smiling softly. He could remember clearly that this had always been his favorite ride as a child, and he wasn't about to let his nerves spoil that for him. He squeezed Nick's hand as the ride started up, and just let go and let himself enjoy it. He threw his arms up and screamed when it sped up or did loops, and found himself laughing at Nick's face when he glanced over. Nick, apparently, was not a huge fan of loops, so he was holding on to the support bar for dear life.

The ride ended just as quickly as it started, stopping at an abrupt halt. Jeff followed Nick off, a tad dizzy from how fast it had been going. As soon as he stepped off of the platform and onto solid ground, his stomach lurched and he whined. He turned to face the trashcan behind him, and bent over it as he threw up the contents of his stomach. Nick rubbed his back as he did so, laughing nervously. "Too much water?" Nick asked, and Jeff nodded. He wiped his mouth off on his shirt and sighed. Nick handed him a piece of gum, and Jeff smiled sadly.

"Do you wanna go home?" Nick offered. "I didn't know you had a weak stomach, or else I wouldn't have made you come."

Jeff looked down at his hands, and nodded softly. He felt bad, Nick had just spent like sixty dollars on them, and he was just going to go back to Dalton after that? He looked up at Nick, and then shook his head. "I-I'll b-be oka-ay," he stuttered out, still not used to speaking aloud.

Nick smiled, and kissed Jeff's temple. "Okay, baby. Just let me know if you want to go back." Jeff blushed when Nick called him _baby_, and then nodded in response. They spent the next four hours on rides that Jeff had never even heard of, avoiding ones that had too many loops, for both of their sakes. When it was time to watch the Warblers perform, they scooped up spots in the front row.

After the amazing performance, Blaine invited Nick out to dinner with them, feeling bad that the boy hadn't been able to perform with them. Nick had landed a spot on the Warblers, but considering he'd been in the hospital for so long, he hadn't been able to practice with them. Nick readily agreed, and looked over to Jeff. "Only if you want to go, that is," he said to him. "You don't have to."

Jeff looked over at Blaine, who was smiling widely, then at Nick. He kissed Nick on the lips and nodded. Nick blushed, and Blaine cooed. "You two are so cute," Blaine chuckled. "Come on, then, let's go!"

Nick drove, following the long line of cars containing the Warblers. He held Jeff's hand and, when they parked, kissed him fully on the lips. "Eat whatever you want," he murmured. "I'm paying for you. We can count this as a date, even if we're gonna be with a bunch of other people. I swear, I will sit on the end with you, and I won't let you get squished."

Jeff smiled; Nick had covered everything he had wanted to ask about. Jeff kissed him again, and sighed happily.

"I love you," Nick reminded him, and Jeff quietly whispered it back.

Nick smiled, and walked into the restaurant with Jeff. He made sure that they sat on the very end of the long table, and he took Jeff's hand. Nick didn't say much during dinner, aside from introducing Jeff to the people who didn't know who he was. Jeff remained completely silent, not saying a word to Nick or making eye contact with anyone else. When it came time for desert, he tried to reach for a napkin in the middle of the table, and somehow ended up knocking his iced tea all over his lap. He didn't react at all aside from placing the glass back where it belonged, and put the napkin into his lap. Virtually nobody noticed. He put his head on Nick's shoulder, fighting back tears.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked, wondering why Jeff was so tired all of the sudden. He looked down at Jeff's lap when the blond pointed, and raised his eyebrow. He then spotted Jeff's empty glass, and quickly put two and two together. "Oh, honey," he murmured. "I'm sorry, I didn't even see… Let's get you cleaned up." He stood up and held his hand out for Jeff, and Jeff quickly stood up, and followed Nick to the bathroom, crying into his hand. Nick pushed Jeff up against the counter and kissed his cheek as he wet a paper towel, hoping he could get some of the stickiness off of Jeff's legs, at the least. "Why are you crying?" Nick asked, stroking his cheek. "It's just a spill, nothing to be ashamed of. We all slip sometimes."

Jeff shrugged, and then whined when Nick started wiping his legs off. It was uncomfortable and gross and he hated it. He looked up and saw another Warbler walk in. He buried his face in his hands, knowing full well what the spill did look like, and choked back another sob.

"Hey, man, what's up? You two walked away real quick." Thad asked, completely oblivious to Jeff's wet shorts.

_Am I invisible? _Jeff wondered to himself.

"Jeff spilled his drink on himself, just trying to get some of the stickiness away and try to dry his shorts up a bit." Nick responded, not even looking back.

"Oh… I have a spare pair of pants in my car, I'll be right back." The boy quickly disappeared from the bathroom, and Nick looked up at Jeff.

Jeff sighed and leaned back, so his head rested against the mirror. "We'll go back soon, sweetie. I promise." Jeff just nodded in response, and they both looked up when the door opened again. Sure enough, it was Thad, who was slightly out of breath and holding a pair of jogging pants in his hand.

"Here," he said, and smiled weakly. "Sorry if they don't fit, you're obviously a bit taller than I am. Right… Well, I'll give you some privacy." He walked away, and Jeff blushed. Nobody had ever really been that nice to him before. At least, not a complete stranger.

"See," Nick smiled. "New pants. Here, put them on." He took everything Jeff handed him when he emptied his pockets, and then handed the stuff back. They made their way back to the table, where Jeff saw a plate holding a slice of pie that definitely hadn't been there before. He sat down and took his fork, and quietly dug into his dessert, pushing his empty glass away from him. When it came time for them to pay, Jeff looked up at Nick, and then pulled his wallet from his pocket. Since their bill was pretty high (a hundred dollars for two people?!), he handed Nick a twenty, in hopes of helping out in the least. Nick thanked him with a kiss on the cheek, and then smiled.

"We should get home soon," Nick mumbled. "I don't feel well."

Jeff frowned, tilting his head. "What's wrong?" He mouthed.

"I'll tell you in the car. Let's just pay and get out of here."

Jeff couldn't help but notice how quickly Nick's mood changed; how he'd gone from happy and having fun to angry, upset and even a little bit scared. They were in the car just mere minutes later, and Jeff put his hand on Nick's shoulder. "Wh…?" Jeff only got the noise of the first syllable out, but he hoped Nick could understand what he wanted.

"I just feel like shit," Nick shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Let's just go. Do you smell that?" Jeff frowned and tilted his head. "Smells like something is burning."

"Ma-Maybe I-I should dr-drive," Jeff suggested, and Nick glared at him.

"I'm _fine!_" Nick yelled. "I told you already!" Jeff whimpered and cowered away from him, taking off his seatbelt as he unlocked his door, scared Nick was about to hit him. "Where are you going?" Nick asked, frowning. "I-I'm sorry… Maybe you should drive."

Jeff nodded, sniffling. He'd never seen Nick angry before, and even if it was only for a few seconds, it had surely terrified him. They switched spots, and Jeff started their drive back to Dalton. He kept the radio on, and listened as Nick sang along. When Nick stopped singing, he looked over, and saw Nick with his head back on the headrest. He was about to keep driving, when he noticed something was _extremely _wrong. Nick wasn't sleeping, like he thought he was. Nick, who was now unresponsive, was convulsing. Jeff jumped into action immediately, pulling the car over on the paved shoulder and getting out. He knew that a few Warblers had fallen behind, and he hoped that at least one of them would get out to check on them. He went over to Nick's side of the car quickly and laid his seat down, and glanced down at his watch. It was quarter past seven, which meant that cops likely wouldn't be patrolling the area again for another few hours. He tried his hardest not to look at Nick as this happened, and looked up.

Thankfully, as if they had answered some prayer, a car had pulled up behind Nick's. From it emerged Blaine, Trent and Thad, and Jeff beckoned them over quickly, panic visible in his face.

"Oh my god," Blaine gasped when he saw Nick. "What happened?!"

"I'll call an ambulance," Thad muttered, and Trent stepped closer.

"Are you timing it?" He asked Jeff softly. Jeff nodded, and tried not to look at Nick too much, hating the fact that he had to see him suffer. Jeff looked at his watch again. Thirty seconds had passed since he last looked. That was fast. He looked down at Nick again, sniffling.

"It's on its way," Thad let Jeff know, and he nodded.

They stood in silence. Forty-five seconds. Fifty. He looked back down at Nick, and watched as the boy's body slowly calmed down. Sixty-eight seconds total. Jeff leaned down to Nick, giving him his space, and stroked the side of his cheek.

Nick opened his eyes and looked up at him. Confused was an understatement. "What…?" Jeff moved aside, and Blaine looked down at Nick.

"Hey, Nick," Blaine said, smiling sadly. "How you feeling?"

"What's goin' on?" Nick asked, trying to sit up. "Where's everyone?"

"Who?" Blaine frowned.

"Ev'ryone…" Nick trailed off, and closed his eyes.

"No, you don't," Blaine, said, and tapped Nick's shoulder. "Stay awake until the ambulance gets here, dude."

"Why'd you c'll?"

"You had a seizure."

"D'n't… Need it." Nick trailed off again, closing his eyes. "Sl'py."

It took several minutes of convincing, but finally Blaine managed to get Nick to believe that he needed to stay awake. The five boys waited in relative silence, Nick due to the fact that he couldn't stop yawning, and the other boys because they were waiting to hear the sirens.

When the ambulance did get there, they checked Nick's levels and asked if he wanted to be admitted, just to be sure. He shook his head, and yawned. "Wanna go to bed."

"Alright," the EMT responded. And just like that, they packed up and drove away. Nick yawned and stretched.

"Can I go to bed now?" He asked, looking up at Jeff. Jeff just nodded, and looked over at everyone else. "Thanks," Nick said to Blaine, and then looked over at Trent and Thad. "You two, too. Means a lot that you care. I'll see you guys tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," the three responded. After their car was gone, Jeff climbed into the driver's seat and kissed Nick's forehead.

"I'm okay, really," Nick reassured, and Jeff nodded slowly, unsure if he truly believed Nick. He hardly even trusted him at that moment—how come Nick had never told him about his illness? As much as Nick tried to minimize it, it was still huge, and something that scared Jeff a great deal. He tried to calm himself down, but he couldn't. He was just so upset that Nick hadn't told him; he felt betrayed. It was pathetic, really. Just like the rest of him.

_Maybe I should just swerve this car into that tree right there, _Jeff said to himself. _No… That will kill Nick, too. Maybe some other time. _He glanced over and saw Nick's peaceful, sleeping form, and sighed softly. He couldn't do that to Nick. He pulled into Dalton's parking lot and turned the engine off, pocketing the keys. He half-carried, half helped Nick up the stairs, and dropped him down onto the bed nearest the door (Jeff's).

Jeff took Nick's shoes off, and then assessed what he was wearing. Shorts and a long sleeved shirt probably weren't the most comfortable to sleep in, so he changed Nick into a pair of track pants and a t-shirt. He laid down next to Nick on the bed after he'd showered and changed, and traced his finger over the now visible scars on Nick's arm.

_I did that, _Jeff said angrily to himself. _That's my fault. Dad was right… I am worthless. I hurt Nicky. I betrayed him._

"I'm sorry," he mumbled to Nick. "I really am." He kissed Nick's hair, and then stood up. He took his notebook off of his desk and started writing.

'_Nicky, I love you. I really do. I'm so sorry I'm doing this. Please don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. You mean everything to me. I just can't do this anymore. I can't hurt you like this anymore. You deserve someone better… Someone who isn't me. Someone you can talk to. I'm sorry, Nick, I really am. Best wishes._

_-Jeff' _

He folded the note up and slipped it into Nick's hands. He put his shoes back on, and gave Nick one last backwards glance before disappearing from the dorm, a whisper of "I'm sorry" still on his lips.

* * *

**I'll try to update soon... You guys yell at me when I leave this on cliffhangers XD **


	12. Chapter 12

**Trigger. Warning. For. Sexual. And. Physical. Assault. Please don't read this if it affects you :( I PROMISE THE CHAPTERS WILL BE HAPPIER SOON. On a side note, SIX THOUSAND VIEEEEWWWSSSSSSS.**

* * *

When Nick woke up, he immediately knew something was wrong. He didn't know what was wrong, or why he felt that way, but he just knew something was off. He sat up, looking around for Jeff, and noticed he was grasping onto something. It was a paper.

He slowly unfolded it, and then put his glasses on. "Nicky, I love you," he read aloud, but quietly. "I really do. I'm so sorry I'm doing this. Please don't blame yourself, it's not your fault." What wasn't his fault? He was so confused.

"You mean everything to me. I just can't do this anymore. I can't hurt you like this anymore. You deserve someone better…" Nick had to stop reading so he could wipe away the tears that had fallen. "Someone wh-who isn't me. Someone you can talk to. I'm sorry, Nick, I really am. Best wishes… Jeff." Nick threw the paper onto the ground and stood up quickly. He grabbed his phone from his bedside table and called Jeff, but he could hear Jeff's phone ringing from the other side of the room.

"Fuck!"

He grabbed Jeff's phone and went through it, trying to find his contacts. When he did, he saw that Jeff only had two: Nick, and his mother. He quickly dialed Jeff's mother's number, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Hello?" She answered, and had obviously just been woken.

"Is Jeff there?" Nick asked nervously.

"Who is this?"

"It's Nick, sorry. His roommate? He left last night and I can't find him."

"I'll check if he's here… Hold on." Nick could hear shuffling, and then '_Jeff?_' being called out several times. "No, he's nowhere around here… Is he okay?"

"I don't think so, Ms. Sterling," he admitted, running his fingers through his hair.

"Call me Laura… Did you two get into a fight?"

"I don't remember," he sighed. "Can I just… Can I go over there? I think it'll be easier to show you than to explain everything."

"Uh… Yeah, of course." Laura gave Nick their address, and he thanked her. He quickly showered and got dressed, and, completely bypassing even communicating with anyone, drove towards Jeff's house. He was there within minutes, and he knocked on the door.

"Nick," Laura said, with a sad smile. "Come in. I made coffee."

"Thanks," he blushed. He stepped inside and took his shoes off, sighing. "Um… I don't know how much you know about anything?"

"I know you two are dating, if that's what you're hinting at."

"Yeah." He smiled, and followed her to the kitchen. Sitting down at the counter, he sipped at the coffee before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Last night, Jeff and I went on a date. We went to the carnival—"

"You took Jeff to a _carnival?_" Her eyes widened.

"Er—Yeah? What's wrong with that?"

"I guess he should tell you… Continue."

"No… What's wrong with the carnival?"

She sighed, and ran her hand through her slightly graying hair. "His brother, Jared, took him to the carnival when he was younger. Long story short, they got into a brutal accident after, and Jared died… We think that's why he doesn't talk."

"I didn't know that…" Nick bit his lip. "This is my fault."

"You don't know that. What else happened?"

"We went to dinner after, and he spilled his drink on himself, so he was pretty bummed out. Someone else loaned him a pair of pants… Um. I can't remember anything after that."

"Were you drinking?" She raised her eyebrow.

"No… Oh! He had to drive home because I wasn't feeling well. I think I had a seizure, which might've scared him… But I don't see any reason for him to run away because of it."

"He almost did the same thing when you tried to kill yourself," she sighed. "He's fragile."

"He really is." He pulled Jeff's note from his pocket and slid it to Laura. "He left that for me… I don't know where he went, or what he's doing, but I need to know that he's okay."

She scanned over it quickly, and shook her head, tears forming in his eyes.

"Where are you going?" Nick asked when she stood up.

"Calling the police."

"Wh-Why?" Nick stood.

"File a missing person's report…" She sighed. Nick started crying, the reality of the situation suddenly hitting him, hard. He sat down in his chair and started to cry into his hands. He couldn't help but blame himself.

* * *

The only thing on Jeff's mind was fleeing. _Run, run, run, run. Run until your legs burn and your lungs don't work. Run until you're so sweaty you can't even tell anymore. Run until your light blue shirt is dark. Run until you burn holes into your socks._

He just needed to get out. Get away from Nick; away from all of the bad things in his life. He wanted to go home, but he knew his mom would just send him back to Dalton. Instead, he kept running, until he got to the apartment complex he was searching for. He didn't know for sure if who he wanted still lived there, so he instead went on a hunch. He made his way inside when someone who lived there went in, and jogged up to the third floor. He knocked on the door, and leaned over, breathless.

"Jeffrey," his father answered the door. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Jeff was gasping for breath, and he looked up at his father with a frown. "N-Needed... Some space." He inhaled deeply, and then stood straight.

"Right... Come in." Jeff smiled sadly, his father had never been this nice to him before. He'd only ever visited his father once before, when his mother had been out of town. He was staying with his aunt, but she got on his nerves, and he went to see his dad. He'd found his address in the phone book, and sneaked over there.

Jeff took his shoes off and sat down on the couch, panting. Daniel handed him a bottle of water, and he pressed it to his forehead before chugging about half of it.

"Jesus, Jeffrey, how far did you run?" Daniel sat down across from him.

"F-Four or five m-miles?" Jeff shrugged. "N-Not sure. Came from D-Dalton."

"That's almost six," Daniel pursed his lips. "Why did you come here? You've made it very clear that you don't want to see me."

"I m-miss you," Jeff admitted.

Daniel just nodded. "Right... Well, I was just about to leave... Would you like a ride back to Dalton?" _Wow, way to ruin the moment, _Jeff thought, and sighed. "You could stay here... But it's not going to become permanent or anything. Just for the night." Jeff nodded and thanked him quietly before lying down on the couch he was seated at. He fell asleep within moments, clutching the bottle to his chest.

* * *

When he woke, it was due to the pounding at the door. He stood up, rubbing his eyes, and opened it. His father stumbled in, his arm around some redheaded girl Jeff had never seen before. "U-Um..."

"Forgot my keys," Daniel slurred. "Move. Me and Ashley's about to gets our sexy on."

"My name is _Natalie!_" She huffed. "This is the ninth time!" With that, she spun on her heel and walked away, slamming the door behind her. Daniel stared after her for a moment before turning to Jeff.

"The fuck did you do that for, you stupid burden?" He hissed. "This is all your fault. Come here, you little..." He stopped talking in favor of running over to Jeff so he could swing at him. He missed, and Jeff backed away, but Daniel tripped him. Jeff landed on the ground, already getting flashbacks from the time he got beaten in the alleyway. This time, it was different. The blows were softer, but it seemed to hurt more.

"D-Daddy, please," Jeff sobbed. "I'll g-go, please stop!"

"_Daddy please,_" Daniel mocked. "You're a disgrace! I thought you weren't talking? What happened to that?"

"I g-got better!" Jeff cried. "Pl-Please, stop!"

Daniel just chuckled, and twisted Jeff's arm around. "No, I'm having too much fun." Daniel kneed Jeff in the chin, and Jeff saw stars when his jaw collided with his father's leg. He had bitten his tongue, so it was swelling and bleeding already.

Daniel got a few more hits in before Jeff started fighting back. He swung his fist and smiled softly when he heard the satisfying crack of his hand against Daniel's jaw. This was immediately countered by a kick into Jeff's balls, which, of course, made him cry out in pain. _Why is it always there?!_

Jeff patted his pockets, trying to find his phone, but it was gone. He didn't want to scream; he didn't want to have to involve the neighbors in this. When his father grabbed him by the hair, he let out a soft sob. He felt something hitting into the side of his head, and then everything was black.

* * *

When he woke up, he didn't know where he was. The ground under him was hard, and it was dark all around him. He tried to sit up, but everything hurt. The most prominent seemed to be the sharp pain coming from his rear, and the pounding in his head. It took him quite a few minutes to recollect what had happened, and then it hit him. He was at his father's. But why was it so dark? He tried stretching out, but his feet hit the wall. He looked up and saw darkness, and then turned over slowly onto his other side. He could see a sliver of light peeking from beneath what obviously had to be the door. He tried to reach for it, but he couldn't do it. He brought his arm back to his body, and for the first time in his life, he started to pray.

_Dear God, or anyone who is listening. Please, just get me out of here. I'll do anything. Please... I just want to go home to Nicky and I want to be safe and sound and happy like I was before I left. It was a bad decision to come here... Please._

He closed his eyes, and was going to try to sleep when the door burst open. He looked up and his eyes met a dark brown pair. "Jeff," the person breathed out, sounding so relieved. "Jeffy, oh my god." He felt strong arms being wrapped around him, and he closed his eyes again. "Jeff, can you hear me? Please say something."

"Hurts." Jeff finally responded.

"I know it does, baby, I know. I swear, I will make it better. Come here." Jeff rested his head in the crook of the man's neck, and took a deep breath. Wait a second... He recognized that smell.

"Nicky?" Jeff asked, trying to look up at him.

"Yeah, it's me, baby. Close your eyes... I'm gonna pick you up, okay? It might hurt... Just squeeze if it does," Nick said, and took Jeff's hand.

Nick slowly rose to his feet, holding Jeff as he did so, and Jeff squeezed Nick's hand until both his and Nick's hands were red. "Hurts that much?" Nick asked sadly. "I'm gonna bring you to the hospital."

"N-No... Wanna go home."

"Baby, you need to get checked out-"

"I want m-my mommy," Jeff whispered quietly, much like a child would. He started crying, and Nick sighed sympathetically.

"Okay... But you still need to go."

"Okay... Love you, Nicky," Jeff whispered. Nick smiled and kissed his forehead.

"I love you too, sweetie. Get some rest, I promise I'll wake you when we're at your house." Jeff nodded and fell asleep almost immediately. Nick took Jeff downstairs, and looked up to Laura and the policemen around her. He'd been accompanied inside by a female officer, who had arrested Daniel immediately after seeing Jeff's state. "He's exhausted," he sighed. "He just wants to go home and rest... Is that okay?"

"I guess so," Laura shrugged. "He isn't bleeding or anything?" Nick shook his head.

"Not as far as I can see, no." Laura nodded, and Nick put Jeff into the back of the car. He kissed Jeff's forehead and smoothed his hair down, and then put his jacket under Jeff's head so he could use it as a pillow.

It took almost an hour waiting for Laura to finish talking with the police, and in that time, Nick just knelt on the car floor and stroked Jeff's hair. When Jeff would stir, he would whisper sweet nothings until Jeff fell back asleep. He ran his hands up and down Jeff's arm so he could warm him up a bit. He drove back to Laura's silently, and carried Jeff up to his room instead of waking him. He put Jeff into the bed and slid Jeff's shoes off. Laura left the room so Nick could change him into pajamas. He got to Jeff's underwear and frowned. They were covered in blood.

Upon closer inspection, he saw one other thing that made his face green and made him scream for Laura. Semen.

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**on a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you hate me**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry about the slow updates, I'm really sick.**

* * *

"What is it?" Laura asked, out of breath.

Nick shook his head and pointed to Jeff's underwear, mumbling, "I'm going to throw up" as he ran from the room. Laura frowned and walked closer, and saw what had made Nick so nauseous in the first place. "Fuck," she hissed. Just when she thought they could finally catch a break. She pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed the non-emergency number the police had given her.

"H-Hi… This is Laura Hastings. Yeah… It appears as if Daniel also sexually assaulted Jeff as well… Could you? Okay. Thank you. I will. Bye." She sat down next to Jeff and let a few tears fall, kissing his hair. "It's okay, Jeffy, he'll never hurt you again."

Nick came back in from the bathroom, and sighed. "I'm sorry about that… Is he still asleep?"

"Yeah. The police said to just leave him and don't touch him any further. They're going to get a rape kit for him."

"Laura… I'm so sorry all of this is happening." Nick frowned, and sat down next to her.

"It's just all happening so fast… I hate seeing him hurting. He's all I have left." She started to cry, and Nick's frown only deepened. He wrapped his arms around her, and she started to cry into his shoulder. He rested his head on hers, still watching Jeff closely, in case he woke up.

They stayed like that until the cops showed up, and Laura quickly recomposed herself and walked away. Nick followed after kissing Jeff on the nose, and watched as she quickly started brewing some coffee for the officers. He went over to her and kissed her temple. "Laura… I'll finish the coffee. Go sit down."

"No, I need to finish making the coffee for the officers," Laura muttered.

"I'll do it. Please, go sit down? You're going to hurt yourself." Nick took her hand, and tried to look her in the eye. "Please?"

"Right… Okay. Thank you, Nick." She nodded, straightened her skirt, and walked to Jeff's room. Nick sighed and lazily stirred coffee, sugar and milk together in four cups. He sipped at his own, and then brought all of the coffee in on a tray. Nick set it down on the end table and handed it to everyone, and then sat on Jeff's desk chair. The female officer started asking Laura questions, and Laura answered them to the best of her ability. He looked over and noticed Jeff stirring, so he put his coffee down and knelt at Jeff's bedside. He took the boy's hand and looked at him sadly, hoping he wouldn't wake up.

Jeff, of course, didn't listen to anything. He opened his eyes and looked right into Nick's. "Don't panic," Nick whispered. Jeff nodded and closed his eyes, and Nick kissed his hair. "Just go back to sleep, baby. I love you so much."

Jeff felt his mother's hand on his leg, and he looked up. He saw the two police officers, and sighed. He tried to roll onto his side, but stopped halfway through the movement, crying out in pain.

"What is it?" Nick asked, standing up immediately. Jeff was crying again, and Nick could tell the pain was intense. "Sweetie, can you please just lie on your back?" Jeff nodded, and Nick propped a few pillows behind his head so he could see the officers and his mother better. "Where did it hurt?" Nick whispered, brushing his hair back.

Jeff just shook his head, whimpering. Nick frowned, and smoothed his hand down Jeff's cheek. "Baby, please tell me," Nick murmured. Jeff shook his head, and then looked pointedly at the officers. "Right."

Nick stood up straight, still holding Jeff's hand. "He wants to get changed… Could you possibly step out for a moment so I could help him?" The officers nodded, and they left the room, followed by Laura. Nick shut the door and then rushed back over to Jeff. "Jeffy, please tell me?"

"M-My back," Jeff said quietly, and Nick frowned.

"You couldn't say that before?"

"N-No," Jeff closed his eyes, a tear falling down. "It really hurts. I th-think he bruised my tailb-bone."

_Oh. _"Uh… No, sweety, it's not that." Nick sat down and took Jeff's hands in his, then kissed him. "Look… There were a lot of signs of possible sexual assault." Nick sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Y-You mean he r-raped me?" Jeff asked, his eyes wide.

Nick nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't—"

Jeff stared at Nick, open-mouthed, for about three more seconds, before he buckled into the bed.

"Shit," Nick hissed. "Jeffy," he murmured, rubbing Jeff's arm. "Laura!"

"What?" She asked moments later, jogging in.

"He fainted," Nick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I think we might need a medic—"

"One's coming already with the ra-rape kit," Laura said, tears pricking her eyes. She hated that this had to happen to her baby, her only child. Of all the people in the world, it had to be her Jeff? She sighed and kissed Jeff's forehead. She looked up at Nick and stared into his eyes for a moment. "Th-Thank you. For everything you're doing for him. It means so much to me… To both of us. He really needed someone there for him, and… And I don't think I could have asked for anyone better than you."

Nick smiled sadly and hugged Laura with one arm over the bed. "You're welcome… Thank you for keeping me around. I'm glad he's happy… Even if right now is hard, I know he'll get through it. He's so strong… He can do anything." He sat back down and kissed Jeff on the cheek lightly.

Laura heard the doorbell ring, and she straightened her clothes out, then wiped her eyes. "Right… That would be the medic." She walked out of the room and Nick could hear her talking with the people there.

"Love you, Jeffy," he whispered to Jeff. He sighed and stroked Jeff's hair, staring blankly at the wall. Jeff didn't stir, and Nick didn't try to wake him. He watched as the medic came in, and shook her hand.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Paige, and this is my assistant, Kathy. Could you step out of the room for a moment so we can get the samples?"

Nick looked worried, and took Jeff's hand. "I don't think that's such a good idea… If he wakes up to someone he doesn't know touching him he'll have an anxiety attack. Could I just stay in here?"

"Very well, then," Paige sighed.

It took only a few moments, and Jeff didn't wake up at all during the process, which Nick was thankful for. "What exactly was that?" Nick asked Kathy, who was packing up their supplies.

"We just needed a DNA sample of whomever had done this to Jeff. We have one now, we'll be on our way. We'll call."

Nick nodded slowly, and watched as she left. Sighing, he kissed Jeff's hair and stood up straight. He figured he'd be there for a little while, so he may as well get himself comfortable. He finished changing Jeff into his pajamas like he'd meant to before, and then grabbed some clothes from Jeff's dresser for himself. He locked himself in the bathroom and put the clothing on the counter, and stared at himself in the mirror.

He ran his hand through his sticky, sweaty hair, and then kicked his socks and shoes off. He pulled his shirt off next, and then stepped out of his pants. He put all of his clothing into a small pile onto the floor, and then stepped into the shower. He turned it on and stood under the hot spray of water, staring blankly at the wall.

He let the water run through his hair and over his body, and, even though it wasn't cleaning him, it sure felt fucking good. He rolled his shoulders back and sighed loudly, staring up at the ceiling. He knew he couldn't take too long, and he didn't want to stay apart from Jeff for too long, fearful that Jeff would wake up confused or scared.

After rinsing himself off and using both shampoo and conditioner, he shut the water off and stepped out of the shower. He dressed and went back into Jeff's room. Jeff was sitting up on the bed, staring into space. "Hey," Nick said, and sat down next to him. Jeff didn't respond, he just curled further into himself, resting his chin on his knees. "Jeffy, please say something?"

"You shouldn't have told me." Jeff whispered.

"Told you what?"

"I didn't need to know… You didn't need to tell me. I could have gone my whole life without knowing, but you told me."

"Jeffy—"

"Don't."

"Jeff, come on. You needed to know—"

"No, I didn't. I could have gone forever without knowing. You told me and now it's just worse."

"Baby, please," Nick tried to protest.

"Just… Just go home."

"You _are _my home, Jeffy."

"Not anymore. Just leave."

"Jeff—"

"_Go_!" Jeff shouted, turning. "Now!" Nick nodded quickly and grabbed his phone, crying into the back of his hand.

"C-Call m-me if you need anyth-thing," Nick stammered, and then ran from the room. He didn't say goodbye to Laura before he left, instead he just bolted from the house, slamming the front door behind him. Jeff didn't want him any more. He was useless.

* * *

**aw Nicky. almost at 80 reviews :) **


	14. Chapter 14

**guys trigger warning again ok ilu dont read this if its gonna make you wanna hurt yourself because you're all perfect and i just**

**dont cut yourself cuz nick does please i love you all so much oh my god**

* * *

Nick ran until his lungs hurt, his feet bled, his eyes were watering from the wind, his cheeks were bright red, and he was exhausted. He stopped at his house, about six miles away. He didn't stop running until he was in his bedroom, where he slammed the door shut. He locked it and shoved his bed against it so his mom wouldn't come in to bug him. He sighed angrily and threw a picture frame to the ground, watching as it smashed.

He sighed and kicked the glass into the corner, figuring he'd fix it later. He grabbed a clean pair of boxers and walked into his bathroom so he could shower. He turned the water on and got in, leaning against the wall. "God damn it," he hissed.

He really fucked up that time. Jeff _hated _him. He pounded his fist against the wall and started to cry again. Sinking to the floor, he pushed his hair back. "Jeffy," he sobbed into his hand. He looked around him, dazed, and bit his lip as he zeroed in on his shaving razor. He lunged forward and took it between his fingers, then snapped it. He pulled a single blade from it and stared down at it.

_Relief,_ he thought as it dragged across his arm.

* * *

Jeff sighed, staring up at the ceiling. The police officers were back in his room, trying to get him to talk. He didn't want to. He was sick of talking. He hated that Nick made him start talking again, but he was so glad that he did at the same time. He sighed again, looking at the police officers. He just shrugged, then shook his head.

"Jeff, we need you to tell us what you remember."

Jeff just shook his head again. Laura took over, getting the hint that Jeff just wanted to sleep. "He's tired, and he needs to rest. I'll have him come into the station first thing tomorrow morning and give a statement, okay?" The officers nodded and bade everyone goodbye. Jeff looked up at his mother, but looked away when they made eye contact. "Oh, Jeffie," Laura sighed. "It's going to be okay, baby."

Jeff just shook his head. _Okay _was no longer a word in his vocabulary. He felt the bed dip, and looked up at his mother. She pulled him into her arms, and he sniffled. He adjusted himself so he was in her lap, and rested his head on her shoulder.

She could feel how bony he was, and knew that compared to his height, he should not be that skinny. She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair, and he started sobbing into her shirt. She held him close as he cried, and listened through every sniffle, sob and hiccup, just in case he said something—anything. After almost twenty minutes, he actually did. He only uttered one thing before falling asleep, and that was "mommy." She sighed and held him tighter before letting go completely, in favour of putting him into the bed for a nap.

* * *

The blood dripping down his arms was overwhelming him. Nick screamed and tangled his hands in his hair, then pulled hard. He sobbed and wrapped his arms around his legs, tucking his face into his knees. He just wanted Jeff back. He didn't mean to fuck everything up, really. He just wanted Jeff to be happy, but he barely knew how to care for himself. How would he know how to care for Jeff if he couldn't even be independent? He sighed and closed his eyes, wondering if the pain in his chest would ever stop.

After ten minutes of just staring at the floor, he finally decided to stand up. He washed his arm off, growling when it just started bleeding again. "I don't have time for this," he mumbled to his arm. He put pressure on the cuts until they clotted, and then finished showering. He got out and dressed, and then walked out into his room. He tugged his sleeve down to make sure it covered everything, and then went downstairs. He sat down on the couch, at the very edge. He brought one leg up close to his chest and rested his head on it, trying to make himself small.

He hadn't noticed that Shiloh was on the other side of the room with Spencer, and he closed his eyes before he could catch a glimpse of them.

"Nicky?" Shiloh asked, walking over to him. She sat down and started rubbing his back. "What happened, Nicky?"

"It's nothing," Nick muttered tiredly, his voice cracking. "Don't worry about it."

"You sure? You can tell me anything," she said, fixing his hair.

"Really, I'm fine, sweetheart. Thanks for caring, though. It means a lot." He kissed the top of her head and then walked out of the room, leaving her and their cousin alone. "Mom," he said as he walked in the kitchen. She looked up from her laptop and raised her eyebrows.

"What did you break upstairs?" She asked, not bothering to ask if he was okay.

"Picture frame. I'll clean it later. I locked my door so Krys can't get in. I'm going out." He took a bottle of water from the fridge, and then an apple from the table.

"Like hell you are. You're grounded."

"Why?!"

"You broke the picture frame on purpose!"

"Whatever," he scoffed. "You're such a cu—"

"Nick, Spencer and I want to go out for ice cream, can you drive us?" Shiloh interrupted, oblivious of the argument. She beamed at Nick from the door, and Nick couldn't help but smile.

"Of course, kid," he responded. "Let me get my keys, I'll meet you in the car."

When Shiloh left the room, Nancy looked up from her laptop again. "You can leave."

"I didn't need your permission—"

"I meant the house. I don't want you here if you're going to be acting like this. I don't care where you go, just take your stuff and get out. Maybe you can live with that faggot boyfriend of yours."

"Ex_cuse me?_" Nick cried, looking back over at her. "_What _did you just call him?"

"A faggot."

"Yeah, I _heard _that, you bitch." Nick hissed.

"Don't call me such names!"

Nick threw his hands up in exasperation, then threw the apple in his hand at the wall, watching as it missed her head by inches and smashed into the wall, splattering before falling to the floor. He chuckled a little, and then glared at his mom. "Forget it. I'll go. Don't expect me to come back, though."

"You're not getting any of your father's inheritance!"

"Already got it," Nick smiled widely. "You gave it to me the day he died. You were so eager to get rid of it… It's like you wanted him gone."

"I—I would never! He was my husband!"

Nick laughed quietly and shook his head. "Whatever. I'll take my money and go. I'm gonna go get some ice cream now. Do you want anything? Actually, that's not a good idea. You need to watch your figure. Toodles!" He did a wave with his fingers, mocking the way Nancy always did it. He walked from the kitchen, ignoring her yelling after him. He put his shoes on and grabbed his keys from the holster, then left the house.

When he got back from the ice cream parlor with his sister and cousin, his mother was waiting in the kitchen for him. He was going to ignore him, but she was yelling for Nick to get in there. He sighed and walked in there, and gasped when he saw her standing by the table. "No—Please, don't—"

She had a gun, and it was pointed directly at Nick's head.

* * *

**yea Nancy is fucking crazy lol. I promise this is part of a development, I'm not just randomly making bad things happen. This story is almost doneeee!**


	15. Chapter 15

**boom new chapter**

* * *

"Mom—" Nick gasped. "Mom, please don't—"

"Don't call me that," she hissed. "You aren't my son." Before Nick could protest, she squeezed the trigger.

* * *

Jeff sighed and rolled over in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He had woken up with a start, and couldn't seem to fall back asleep. He grabbed his laptop off of his bedside table and opened it up, scrolling aimlessly through his Facebook feed before closing it again. He was really bored and just wanted to sleep, but it wouldn't come to him. He stood up and shuffled to the kitchen. He sat down across from his mother at the table, and she stood up.

"Do you want me to make you something to eat?" She asked him, biting her lip. Jeff nodded softly and rested his face in his hands. He stared blankly at the table for a few minutes, and snapped out of his daze when his mom put a grilled cheese down in front of him.

"Thanks," Jeff murmured, and took a small bite. His mind was racing, and almost every thought led to only one thing: Nick. He patted his thighs, looking for his phone, but it wasn't there. He sighed and put the sandwich down.

"What's up, buttercup?" Laura asked, putting a coffee down in front of Jeff.

"I miss Nick," he whispered softly, and then sipped at the scorching hot coffee.

"Why don't you go see him? I'll drive you," she said, putting his hand over his. Jeff could tell she was doing her best to make him be as happy as possible, and he really appreciated it, so he nodded. "Finish your food first, and I'll drive you."

Jeff ate slowly, he didn't want to make himself sick by inhaling it. He only managed to eat half of the sandwich before standing and making his way to his room. He changed into a long-sleeved shirt that he could hide his hands in the sleeves in, and a pair of jeans. He got into the car with his mom and curled up into a ball on the seat.

When they got to Nick's house, Jeff was confused, to say the least.

"Jeff, why are there cop cars everywhere?" Laura asked, swallowing thickly. Jeff shrugged, and Laura parked the car. Jeff got out and ran towards the door, and knocked lightly. Nick's little sister answered, and she looked like she'd been crying.

"What's wrong?" Jeff whispered, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. He held her and stroked her hair, trying to see into the house. "Can I come in?"

"I thought you di-didn't talk?" Shiloh asked, hiccupping.

"Right… Things've changed. Where's Nick?"

Shiloh took his hand and brought him into the kitchen, and he frowned deeply when he saw Nick on the floor. He knelt next to him and wrapped his arms around the brunet, holding him tight.

"Nicky," Jeff whispered. "Nicky, what happened?"

Nick buried his face into Jeff's neck and shook his head, then sobbed into his shoulder. "Y-You c-came back," Nick sobbed.

"Why are there cops here?"

"I th-thought you ha-hated me!"

"Nick, why are there cops here?!" Jeff exclaimed. Shiloh put her hand on his shoulder, and shook her head.

"He's having a panic attack, he isn't actually hearing you. My mom tried to kill him," she sighed. "Sh-She had a gun, a-and…"

"It's okay, Shiloh," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry about it." He kissed her temple and then turned back to Nick. "Baby, can you look at me?"

"Y-You told m-me to leave," Nick sobbed. "I th-thought I'd n-never se-see you again."

"Shh," Jeff hushed him, and tucked Nick's face into his neck. "Shh, it's okay." He stood up and saw his mom lurking in the doorway. He shrugged and then pointed to the coffee machine. "Shiloh, can you help me get Nick to the living room?" Shiloh nodded her head, and wrapped an arm around Nick's shoulder. Jeff did the same from the other side, and they hoisted him up into a standing position.

"J'ffy?" Nick asked, sniffling. "Wh' you doin'?"

"Shh, we're just gonna lay you down on the couch so you can get comfy. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He helped Shiloh bring Nick into the living room and set him down on the couch. He kissed Nick gently and then draped a blanket over Nick, tucking a pillow under his head. "Do you want anything, darling?" He asked, tucking Nick's hair back.

"D-Don't go," Nick whispered, and Jeff nodded. Nick sat up and Jeff sat on the couch where Nick had been lying. He pulled Nick into his lap and tucked the brunet's face into his neck, holding him close. "I th-thought you were d-done talking?" Nick whispered.

"You need me," he sighed. "And I need to know that you're okay. Just… Try and sleep, darling?" He kissed him on the forehead.

"N-No," Nick whispered. "N-No, I want to st-stay awake."

"Darling, you should sleep. Please? I promise I won't go anywhere."

"Wh'r's my mom?" He muttered. "Where is she? She's gonna hurt you!" He sat up straight, trying to push away.

"No, no, no, she's gone, Nicky, I promise, the police took her away. She's not in here, you're safe, I'm safe, I got you," Jeff whispered soothingly. "Just… Just lay down, sweetie."

Nick nodded slowly, and laid his head on Jeff's shoulder. "Love you," he whispered. "Love you so much."

"I love you too," Jeff mumbled, and kissed him gently. "Get some rest, yeah?"

"I can't."

"Try?"

"No," Nick ran his fingers over Jeff's chest, and Jeff sighed. He knew Nick was stubborn, and there was no arguing the point, so he just kissed him gently and turned the TV on. The news was on and he quickly switched it away, in fear that there would be a story on their situation. Laura came in the room carrying a tray that had tea and coffee on it.

"Thanks, mum," Jeff said, and took a coffee. Nick grabbed a cup of tea and stared down into it. Jeff studied his face carefully, and watched as a single tear fell from Nick's eye down to the cup, splashing inside the drink. "Darling," Jeff whispered, placing his coffee aside. "What's the matter?"

"Stupid bitch!" Nick screamed, throwing the tea across the room. He didn't flinch when the cup shattered, but Jeff jumped. "I can't fucking believe her!"

The policemen who Jeff hadn't noticed standing in the doorway rushed over to Nick and restrained him, pinning his hands behind his back. Nick started sobbing, and fell to his knees.

"Baby, what is it?" Jeff frowned. "Who're you talking about? Your mother?" Nick nodded, and sobbed again. Jeff pouted and wrapped his arms around Nick, letting him fall forward. The officers let go of Nick's arms, but kept their guard up, just in case he tried to hurt someone.

"I c-can't b-believe sh-she tr-tried to k-kill me," he cried into Jeff's shirt. "Sh-She's supposed t-to l-love me!"

"I know, baby, I know. Just… Just quiet down, Nicky, you're gonna hurt yourself." He tucked Nick's face into his neck and let the brunet cry. Nick only needed about ten minutes before he could wind down, and Jeff held him well past those ten minutes. "It's okay, sweetie," Jeff whispered. "I've got you. You never have to see her again," he sighed. "I swear."

The officer that remained in the room knelt down next to Nick. "Hi, Nick? I'm Rose. Do you think you can sit down and talk? I need a statement from you. It's okay if you can't do it right now."

Jeff sighed, remembering that he needed to go to the station in the morning to give a statement as well.

"Um…" Nick looked up at her. "Y-Yeah, I guess. We've been fighting a lot lately, since… Since my dad died; and she hasn't really been herself. Sh-She's been yelling at Shiloh and I, and blaming us for everything. After dad died, she started seeing someone. A man, we're not quite sure what his name was, and I only really saw him once. The only thing I know about him is that he changed her, and not for the better.

"She started hitting us around," Nick sighed. "That only really started last week. She told Shiloh she hated her, and called her a sl-slut, and… She was just awful. Earlier today, I took my sister and our cousin out for ice cream, after having a fight with my mom. When we got back, I came in the kitchen and—and she had the gun. Pointing right at m-my head," Nick's voice was getting weak and thin. "She wanted to kill me. I tried to beg her not to, but sh-she pulled the trigger."

"How come you're alive?" Rose asked, looking Nick in the eyes. "There's no blood or anything."

"I got lucky. The gun was empty, I guess. She was just as shocked as I was… I'm so scared, though."

"Well, don't be. She's never going to be around you again if she pleads guilty." Rose stood up and shook Nick's hand, then Jeff's. She left the room and Jeff pulled Nick into his lap.

"I love you," Jeff whispered into Nick's ear. "I love you so much."

"I love you too… Please don't leave me."

"I'll never leave you ever again. I swear. I love you so much, Nicky."

"Okay… Stay?"

"I already said I would," Jeff ran his fingers through Nick's hair.

"N-No, I meant here. I don't want to be alone tonight."

Jeff bit his lip, looking around. "I don't know if I'm comfortable staying here… But you and Shiloh can sleep at my house, if that's okay with the officers."

Shiloh perked up when she heard that, then offered a quick "I'll go ask," before running from the room.

"You promise she'll never hurt me again?" Nick whispered when she was gone.

"I'll do my damn best to try, Nicky."

* * *

**Comin' to a close soon... I'm hoping this will all wrap up nicely. (And by nicely I mean y'all yell at me xxoo)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Half chapter... hehehe. More will come soon... I've had a hectic few weeks.**

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The next few days were quiet for Nick and Jeff, as they just spent them together, enjoying each other's company. They got to know each other better, and they played silly games and cuddled for hours. Nick was trying to make Jeff feel okay about what had happened to him while Jeff was trying to do the same for Nick.

And for once, something actually seemed to be going right. They were happy, despite all that had happened in the previous weeks, and they felt like nothing would bring them down. The police had been staying out of their way while they figured everything out, and Jeff's mother had been kind enough to allow Nick to stay at her house. It was during these few days, what will be known as the "healing period," that Jeff really realized just how in love he was with Nick.

They were lying in bed just staring into each other's eyes, and Nick would smile each time Jeff let out a contented sigh. "I love you so much," Jeff murmured, and Nick smiled wider.

"I love you t—" he was interrupted by a knock at the door, and both boys looked at it.

"Yeah?" Jeff asked, sitting up. His mother entered the room, and Jeff frowned at her worried expression.

"There are a few police officers here that want to talk to you two… Can you come into the kitchen?" Jeff nodded and stood up, then held his hand out for Nick. Laura left the room, leaving them alone, and Nick stood up. He pulled a pair of pants on and kissed Jeff gently on the lips.

They trudged out to the kitchen and sat down at the table, sitting opposite the two officers that had come to talk with them. Jeff nervously took Nick's hand in his, and Nick gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Wh-What is it, officers?" Nick spoke first, breaking the silence.

"Well, we just have some information we want to go over with you." After about a half an hour of clarifying information, the blonde officer smiled politely to Nick.

"So… What's going on? What happened, exactly?" Nick asked, squeezing Jeff's hand tighter.

"Well…"


	17. Chapter 17 (The End)

By the time the officer finished speaking to them, Jeff was pale, and Nick felt like throwing up. Jeff looked over at Nick and hugged him, and Nick buried his face into Jeff's neck. Jeff started to cry and so did Nick, so they both just held each other for almost an hour. The officers were long gone when they finally pulled away, and Laura had left them alone in the privacy of the dining room.

Jeff sighed and kissed Nick gently on the lips. "Thank you… For everything."

"No, Jeffy… I-It's my fault."

"Like hell it is!" Jeff pulled away completely, crossing his arms.

"I shouldn't… We shouldn't have met… Our lives would have been so much better—"

"No, Nicholas, that's not true and you damn well know it." Jeff kissed his forehead and took his hands. "Come here." He stood up and pulled Nick into the living room. He sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him, and draped his legs over Nick's once the brunet was seated. "Look, Nicky, you saved my life, okay?" Jeff whispered. He kissed Nick on the cheek gently and sighed quietly. "You did. You may not believe it's true, but you did; in more ways than one.

"When I met you, Nicky," Jeff continued. "It was like… It was like I knew that someone actually cared. The day I met you, I was panicking because—well, because I was planning on killing myself and I d-didn't know how to say goodbye to my mom. When you came in, it was like you changed my entire life. Somebody finally gave two shits about me, Nick; you don't know how much it meant. Even for you to just give me a stupid little paper bag… It meant the world to me. At that moment, I knew that no matter how hard it got, Nicky, I would have _someone,_ and that little thing kept me around. When you tried to kill yourself… Nick, you broke my heart. It was like you didn't care about me. I know th-that we weren't communicating, and I'm really sorry for that… But to be completely honest, baby, I've loved you since the moment I met you. So stop saying it's your fault, okay? Had we not met, I'd be dead. And… God, I hate to say it, but I'm glad that everything that happened, happened. 'Cuz now I have you, baby, and that's all that matters to me. You." Jeff kissed Nick on the lips, and Nick wiped away his tears.

Nick chuckled nervously. "I've never heard you say so much," he whispered. "Just… Just come here." Nick put his hands on Jeff's hips and pulled him into a kiss. Jeff smiled and returned the kiss eagerly, and laid Nick down on the couch. He straddled his thigh and sucked Nick's bottom lip into his mouth, giggling a little.

"I love you so much," Jeff whispered, and kissed Nick's jaw.

"I love you too, baby," Nick smiled. "More than anything." Jeff ran his hands up Nick's torso, and Nick let out a little moan. Jeff bit his lip at this noise, and pushed Nick's shirt up just a tad so his stomach was exposed. "Wait," Nick said, and Jeff pulled away a little. "M-Maybe we should move into your bedroom?" He offered. "Just so your mom doesn't see us?"

Jeff nodded, agreeing, and lead Nick to his room. He locked the door and straddled Nick again, and then took his shirt off. He was so nervous, his heart was pounding and he was sweating. He took a shaky breath and then kissed Nick's neck. Nick was just as nervous as Jeff, for a different reason. He was _terrified _that he would hurt or scare Jeff—or worse, that Jeff would have a flashback. But, he and Jeff had already decided that Jeff would move at his own pace, and Nick would follow. So, if it was sex Jeff wanted, it was sex Jeff was going to get.

"I want you," Jeff moaned softly.

Nick smiled and pushed his shirt up a little. "I want you back," he responded breathily.

They kissed for a few more minutes, their hands wandering, when Nick finally pulled away. "Jeff, I'm so sorry, I can't—"

"Thank god," Jeff sighed in relief, and fell onto the bed beside him. "I didn't wanna say no," he blushed. "You seemed to be enjoying—"

"Jeff," Nick turned over, and then kissed his cheek. "Never be afraid of saying no to me, honey. I won't get angry at you, there's nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with sex. And if we're being completely honest… I want to wait until marriage to go all the way."

Jeff smiled and kissed Nick on the lips, hard. "Love you." Nick giggled and wrapped his arms around Jeff, smiling.

"I love you too."

* * *

"S-So, Nicky?" It was days after Jeff and Nick had found out what really happened, and Nick, Jeff, and Shiloh were eating lunch together. Shiloh had put her sandwich down and was facing her brother, having finally mustered the courage to ask what happened. "What… What's going on?"

Nick put his drink back on the table and took Shiloh's hand. "I think you should wait until you're older—"

"No, Nick, I'm fifteen. I'm perfectly capable of handling it… Just tell me."

Nick sighed and looked to Jeff, who just shrugged. "Okay. Do you remember grandma at all?" Shiloh nodded, and Nick continued. "Well, we always told you that you couldn't see her because she was just a little nuts, but it was… I think schizophrenia?" He bit his lip. "Something was a little wrong in her head. Not the point. It's apparently hereditary, which is why we think mom went a little bonkers."

"So she tried to shoot you because of that?" Shiloh asked. "Why is that so bad?"

"Because, there's more to it," Jeff responded, knowing Nick didn't want to be the one to tell his sister. "My dad and your mom were, uh, really close. They were dating, since about five months ago—"

"Dad was alive then!" Shiloh yelled. "She cheated on him?!"

"Yeah," Nick said, stroking her hair. "Yeah, she did. They were dating and they just weren't the right kind of couple, you know? Basically, mum had convinced Daniel that Jeff and I sh-shouldn't be together, and they were trying to think of ways to get us apart."

"At the time," Jeff continued for his boyfriend, "Nick and I were in a fight… So I'd left to clear my head."

"Before you go any farther… Why did you leave?"

"You didn't tell me you had epilepsy."

"I didn't think it was necessary—"

"Nick, it's a life-threatening disorder, of course it's neces—"

"Jeff, I'm fine. Let's just talk about it later."

"Right… Okay. Anyways, when I left, I didn't want to go home to my mum, so I ended up just going to my father's apartment. I don't know why I went there, I hadn't seen him since I was six… Except when he visited me in the hospital, that is. I don't really remember much of anything after that, exc-cept… U-Um…"

"Except when Daniel did some _really _inappropriate and illegal things to Jeff that I'd rather not get into detail about."

"Wa-Wait," Shiloh spoke for the first time in a while. "H-He raped you?" She turned to Jeff. "Tell me that's not true."

"I-It is," Jeff's right hand rubbed over his left bicep absentmindedly. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Shiloh frowned. She leaned across the table, careful not to fall into her food, and kissed Jeff's cheek. She sat back down and faced Nick again. "Wh-What else?" She asked, starting to look a little pale and shaken.

"After that… Well, you were kinda there for the rest, Shi. Mom tried to kill me, blah blah. Um… It wasn't because I called her fat, though. She'd been angry, because Jeff's father cheated on her with some other woman, a-and she was planning on killing you and herself, too."

When Nick was finished speaking, Shiloh's face paled even more. Nick watched her face; she looked as the gears were turning about in her head. After a few moments, she shook her head, stood up, and ran out of the room. "Shiloh!" Nick called after her, but Jeff took his hand when he stood.

"Give her some time," Jeff said. "That's what we needed, it's only fair she gets it too."

Nick nodded and walked over to Jeff. He kissed his boyfriend on the cheek and wrapped his arms around Jeff's slim form, holding him tight. "It's over now, right?"

"Yeah… At least, I hope so. I sure hope so, Nicky. They're gone forever… We're getting a restraining order against your mum, my dad's in jail for life… W-We can only hope for the b-best, Nicky."

"Why are you stuttering?" Nick whispered, running his fingers through Jeff's hair.

"I'm so scared. Not just for me, but for us, and for Shiloh… I'm so scared she'll try to hurt us again. She's only getting five years, Nicky… Wh-What if—"

"No, no what ifs. She isn't gonna hurt you or Shiloh any time soon, I guarantee that. I won't let her."

"Okay," Jeff sighed. He kissed Nick's lips gently and smiled sadly. "Go check on Shiloh."

Nick nodded and parted from Jeff, and Jeff watched as he walked away. As the blond sat himself back down on his chair, he stared down at the table with a small smile. He knew at that moment that, no matter what happened to them, they would go down kicking, and rise up twice as strong. He felt invincible with Nick by his side, and he was certain that he could survive just about anything so long as Nick was there to help him through.

The End

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**Oh... Man. Seventeen chapters later, and I just feel... Wow. Thank you guys SO MUCH for EVERYTHING! I love you all more than anything. This story is at over 9,000 views (9,162 since the last time I checked). That is INSANE. I can't believe this story is over, and I'd like to thank all of you for the 100+ reviews it's gotten. If I could find all of you personally and hug you and kiss you and love you, I would. But since I can't do that, I'll just thank you from here. **

**DON'T WORRY, THOUGH. Speak isn't over forever. Expect a SEQUEL to be coming out within the next month! There's gonna be a bit of a time jump (no more than 8 years, probably only 4), but that's it. Less drama... I just don't think I'm ready to let go of Nick and Jeff. **

**It would mean the world to me if you could review, add to your favourites, and even share with your friends. This story has been a big part of my life and I'm sad to see it come to an end (I actually started to cry when I wrote the last few sentences), but I know it's time to end it. And remember how I said that life-in-the-stars and I would be coming out with a story? We kind of abandoned that, but I'm gonna try my hardest to start that up soon, and I'm also working on The Bucket List. Stay tuuuuned! **

**Love LOTS, Charlie. xoxoxoxoxoxo times 1,000,000! **


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